[Even Noctis can't help his own tears escaping while Ignis weeps, though he makes no sound; he'd cried enough for himself already, the grief balled up tight in his throat, unwilling to allow himself to be selfish. He'd shared that pain at the campfire- this moment is for Ignis. Still, he cheek is damp as Ignis brushes against him, and as more words come to shatter his calm, more well up in his eyes and slowly trail down as he exhales a huff of not-quite laughter and bows his head.]
You asshole... [There's no anger or mockery in his tone, just a quiet sadness he can't quell.] You're not allowed to give me more reasons to stay.
[He can't. He can't, the world is already dying and barely existing on the edge. If they don't act soon, humans will die out, the planet won't be able to recover even after the sun's back. Ardyn won't wait peacefully forever either, once the rumours of his return spread around.
But gods he wants to stay with his family, with the people who love him. They deserve to hear it too, though, even if nothing's allowed to come of it. Ignis more than anyone else, who's stood by him through everything, supported him despite knowing he was going to die and that everything they've worked for their whole lives was for nothing, when that alongside his blindness would have been the perfect excuse to just... go home. Find a life for himself, one not risked by aiding and escorting the walking dead. Instead, he'd stayed. They're only this far because Ignis stayed.
He clenches his eyes shut tightly, shifting to rest his forehead against Ignis', their shaken breaths mingling in the air between them, proof that they're both still alive. This is... heavy. But it's a good weight, and one he'll happily bear, in stark contrast with everything else on his shoulders.]
I love you, too. [Years ago, those small, simple words had been so hard. Why? It meant so much to hear it, and yet he'd held back despite how he felt. What a coward he's been.] Whenever I needed someone, you were there. I can't ever repay you for it all, but... I'm glad it was you, Iggy.
[ He's not sorry in the least bit. Sorry, Noct. This night isn't just for Ignis, it's for them. He doesn't want to live with regrets. He's not taking back the things he just said, no way in hell.
As their foreheads touch, he's perfectly aware of how close they are. He's touched by Noctis' words, he needed to hear that, on both counts.
It's funny, he thinks. He had originally followed Noctis to offer up his comfort, but did the tables turn rather quickly on him. He didn't realize how badly he needed the comfort himself. He knows that Noctis needs it too, hell, he'll be worried if Noctis wasn't afraid of what's to come.
He removes his glasses off his face, careful not to break the contact that they're sharing. He gently places them down on the ground by them. He wants to give Noctis a chance to look into his eyes.
He's relying heavily on his sense of touch to see. The hand that had been in Noctis' hair moves slowly towards his cheek, thumb idly brushing away the tears there. He doesn't like it when Noctis is upset, though he doesn't fault him at all in this case.
A couple of minutes pass by them.
He throws out logic and reason, throwing out the formalities. Though, the logic in him wants to speak up, but he shuts it down. Had this been any other night or situation, he'd listen to that voice. Instead, he's listening to his heart tonight. ]
You're worth everything. [ voice a whisper. The pain. The stress. The love and care. Everything that's he's been through and that they've been through, it's been worth it to Ignis. He wouldn't change a thing.
He tilts Noctis' chin up a bit. There's no hesitation as he shuts the distance, lips meeting Noctis', though clumsy. He shuts his eyes as he wraps his free arm back around Noctis. He's not sure how Noct is going to respond to this, but he puts everything that he's been feeling into this simple act.
He's never thought of things like this before. Romance, love. That's been the furthest thing from his mind. Until now, he supposes. He's never had a reason to share such an inmate moment with someone. He's not sure what's come over him all of a sudden to get him to kiss Noctis like this, but he's not thinking too hard about it. It's Noct.
Fresh tears streak down his face, a mix of emotions. Happy. Sad. Love. Even anger at the Gods. The most important thing he feels is the care and love that he has for Noctis. His stomach is doing flops, his head spinning. Still, he doesn't let go and he won't unless Noctis wants him to. ]
[He's surprised to see the glasses gone as Ignis removes them; it's been rare for him to go without since Altissia, preferring to (understandably) cover his lack of eyesight rather than draw more attention to it. He can't see very well in the dark, all the colours faded to shades of grey, but it's still nice to get even a glimpse of the eyes he's missed for so long. Ignis used to be expressive even behind the glasses- fond, exasperated, tired, annoyed, amused. He displayed a whole gamut of emotions when they were alone and he wasn't just trying to put on an air of professionalism and calm. Here in the dark, he looks... sad, of course, but unless he's imagining it - hoping it into his perception, maybe - there must be some relief in that gaze. Even for just a night, they're together again. After ten years of waiting, who wouldn't be relieved?
He says nothing, letting Ignis explore his face, re-learn the contours and details, things that Noctis himself is still just as unfamiliar with. He blinks rapidly as the tears are noticed, fighting back against more. He thinks he's at least able to hold himself together well enough for a while, quiet and dignified as anyone might expect from their king.
And then Ignis says that, and kisses him, and Noctis feels himself fall apart a little, fraying at the weak seams holding together his calm.
"Worth everything." He's not, he shouldn't be. Ignis deserves better than this, better than the mess he became, better than his bad attitude and awkward personality. Someone regal and powerful, like his dad or the Founder King. He's just... Noct. Good at nothing a leader should be good at, only has to be good at fighting and dying. He couldn't even save Luna, and he doesn't want to fail to safe Ignis, either. (Again.) Even with all of that... Ignis is kissing him, holding him.
A soft noise escapes his lips, startled, faintly objecting, but he doesn't move away, merely lets himself be held, closing his eyes and clumsily tilts his head as he accepts the kiss for what it is and everything it represents: Ignis' feelings, whatever he wants to convey that words can't explain. How long as he wanted this? Has he been quietly suffering from this, too? He hopes it hasn't been long. Ignis is the one worth everything. He's worth the world, and he deserves it. He deserves to be happy. If this makes him happy, then-
-but it won't last. A single moment can't be enough, all they have is tonight, and then-
With a muffled curse he breaks away, his breath catching. No.] Iggy- Iggy, we can't- [they can, though. they just did.] You shouldn't- [that's not up to him.] why would you want this? [there it is.] I can't give you anything, I can't...
[Subconsciously he tilts his head forward, his lips ghosting across Ignis' a second time, but he forces himself back again. No.]
...There's no future for this. You deserve more than that.
[ He's a bit surprised when Noctis is accepting of this at first, but when the muffled curse hits, he's taken back. He pulls away, wanting to give Noctis space but is hit with a second kiss, though brief. ]
I bloody well know that. [ there's no malice or anger to his tone, just flat out sadness and grief there. He's not looking into starting anything here, he knows that nothing can come out of it. He's too smart for that. ]
N-noct. [ the lump is forming in the back of throat, making it difficult to speak. He takes a shaky breath, wondering where to start. Six, he wishes he has more time to figure out his feelings, but he doesn't have that luxury. Time is against them.
He still has his arm around Noctis, he hasn't pulled away completely. His free hand fishes for Noctis' and he holds it firm in his own. Still afraid to let go. ]
For ten years, [ he begins slowly ] I've been struggling to come to terms with this, of what's to come. It's been a long road, but [ he voice cracks as he admits it out loud, the terms that he's accepted what's to come. If he's honest with himself, he hasn't fully accepted it. ] I don't want you to die.
[ Fresh tears roll down his cheeks, as if saying it out loud breaks him. No, he's already broken down once tonight, he'll have more time for that later. ]
All I want, is a moment with you. [ Six, help him. He can't do this. He needs to, if he wants the closer that he desires. ]
All I want--- [ he shakes his head a little, no that's not right. ] No, need a way to say goodbye... [ without actually saying it. ]
[Noctis is quiet as he listens to Ignis' answer, thoughtful and cautious. Even when Ignis is done, he gives himself a little longer to just... think. About what this is, about what his best action here is. About what he wants, on his last night here on this world. Of course he doesn't need to tell Ignis that this is it. He's had years to come to terms with it- years more than Noct for sure. And more time in the dark than almost anyone else. To doubt what Ignis is saying and feeling is to do him a disservice.
What about him, though? If this is his last free night alive, he should be allowed to do what he wants, as long as it doesn't jeopardize what comes tomorrow. So no commitments to survive, no promises, no hope. That still leaves a few options. If they both understand then... does it hurt, really? To let this happen? To accept this offered gift? It's just kissing. Kissing can't change fate. It can't stop the gods from claiming his life.
He knows he loves Ignis. Is he in love with him? That, he doesn't know. There's been no time to consider, since Insomnia. There's no great romance here. It's like when Luna died, stolen away before anything could come of their promised life together. He didn't know everything that she wanted, didn't understand what his true role would be beyond an assigned husband, but he'd felt warmth, at the thought of being with her. Of sharing himself, discovering what they were meant to be. He feels this for Ignis, now- a curiosity at the potential he'd never let himself consider, a warm craving for affection and comfort in the dark. A longing to make someone he loves happy, with whatever ability to do so is within his power.
He... doesn't have to know, ultimately. If he's in love. The answer won't change anything, can only hurt them. All he has to do is let himself feel, and follow where those feelings guide him.]
...Okay, [is his whispered response, finally. His free hand shifts to brush over Ignis' cheek, wiping a tear, watching his expression carefully.] If this is what you want, then... it's yours.
[I'm yours. For one night only, he can belong to his oldest and dearest friend, he can be loved. In the morning, the world and the gods can have him back. Tonight is theirs.]
[ When he's done talking, Noctis is well, quiet. Ignis doesn't blame him in the slightest bit here. As Noctis thinks on his own, he tries to pull apart his own feelings here.
Of course, he loves Noctis. Though he suspects that he's in love with him, he can't be sure. If he's in love with Noctis, he won't be able to pinpoint as to when that happened. He was just going with his feelings when he kissed Noctis, not giving them any thought. It felt right to in the moment and that's something he's never felt before. To act on his feelings, to listen to his heart is a new ball game to him.
He gives Noctis' hand a squeeze as he waits a bit more. It's their last night together. They've known each other since they were children, going way back to ripe age of six for Ignis. Noctis has been such a constant person in his life, it's hard to image one without him in it. He's been doing okay the past ten years, but he's had hope to cling to. Hope that he could find a way to save his oldest friend, but tonight, he feels that slipping. All he wants to do now is comfort Noctis. He's terrified of leaving things between them this way, but when Noctis speaks up---
--- "It's yours." He leans his cheek into Noctis' hand, closing his eyes for a moment.
He doesn't have to ask what he means by that. I'm yours.
He says nothing for a minute, letting that wash over him. Just for one night, they can be together, lean on each other and block out the world around them. Just one night. Okay, that's enough. It's more than enough.
No hesitation as he pulls Noctis into a hug first and foremost. As his arms go around Noctis, he's giving himself a chance to just breathe. Though, he can't deny his heart beat picking up, or the small smile on his face. He's happy, only for a night.
He wants to explore Noctis a bit, but as his hand rubs idly at Noctis' back, he realizes that his gloves are in the way. He stops a moment, tugging them off behind Noctis' back and throws them lazily aside. He'll worry about those later. Free of the gloves, his lets his one of his hands roll up Noctis' back, pausing at his neck, then slowly making his way to his cheek. He can feel Noct's beard this time.
He leans his head forward a bit, judging the distance blindly and lets their foreheads rest against each other. He doesn't go in for the kiss, wanting to take his time here. ]
I love you [ he repeats that from earlier. ] and I don't regret anything. [ he has no regrets about tonight or what's to come from this.
It's bittersweet really, that this is their last night together and it's Noctis' last night on the world. He gives Noctis a moment to respond if he wishes to.
Just like before, he tilts Noctis' chin up and there's a slight hesitation this time, a slight fear of being pushed away, but he pulls Noctis in for a kiss, letting their lips meet again. He's still clumsy about it, being new and he can't see. He shuts his eyes and lets his heart do the talking for him. He's gently pulling Noctis closer to him, as if in a protective embrace as he's kissing him.
This simple act is tearing his heart in two though, a part of him sad about it, but it's overpowered by the love that's floating there. ]
Noctis blinks rapidly at that, fighting back a fresh wave of tears, inhaling a shaky breath, and marveling at those words. After everything Ignis has had to endure, all the effort he's poured into something that's ultimately worthless, into a future that no longer exists... years of serving and supporting someone who won't live past tomorrow... even with all of that. No regrets. Like Noctis himself, he's glad for the life they've led together. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. It was wonderful in so, so many ways, too many to count and point out one by one. Through it all, just as Ignis had corrected minutes ago, he hadn't ever been truly alone. Much of that was thanks to the man holding him now.
He doesn't say anything, only trembles a little, overwhelmed by his thoughts. What can he say? Any words that might come to mind, Ignis knows already. This man knows his heart. Instead, when Ignis kisses him again, this time he kisses back. It's awkward, a little clumsy- he's never really kissed people before, besides maybe a chaste kiss here or there when he was little and wasn't likely to be judged for it. He has to learn the steps on the fly that so many people learned in their teenage years, those who were more free to share themselves with others, who wouldn't be judged for their choices by the mass media or the country's government, by the king himself. Not that he thinks his father would have objected to this or anything. His mother had been Regis' childhood friend, too.
Maybe it's natural to feel this, for someone who's seen you at your best and at your worst for your entire life and still stayed with you despite it all. Maybe this was always meant to happen.
He tries not to overthink it. He moves with Ignis, following his lead, eyes closed and mind going hazy. It's... nice. It's warm, wrapped up in Iggy's arms, and he holds the man in return, his hands drifting over shoulders and back, feeling the familiar muscles and looking for what's changed since they last made contact even remotely like this, where he's filled out and where he's slimmed down, how hard these past ten years have been for him. He doesn't have very long, but he wants to know Ignis as much as he can in the time left to them. After so many years spent together, he hates the idea of there being so much of Ignis that he doesn't know. He won't have time to learn everything, and that, he does regret a little. But he'll do what he can, and if fate is kind for just a single night, maybe he can avoid screwing anything up before they have to move on. That's all he wants, really: to make Ignis happy, to give him some semblance of peace. It could be that he'll find some of his own in the process. He could admittedly use a little more.]
[ When he feels Noctis returning the kiss, he only deepens it, strengths it. Butterflies hit his stomach and he's overwhelmed by his own feelings.
He can feel Noctis exploring him too, and it occurs to him what Noctis is doing. Ignis is a bit more fit, after spending the past ten years fighting a lot more. Granted, he had to learn to fight blind, but once he found his way, he started doing solo hunts, out on his own. Monsters and daemons had roughened him up a bit, but he's only been able to heal and recover from it. There's no noticeable new scars or bruises thanks to that.
Ignis pulls very, very slightly back, creating space for Noctis to explore around his chest next. It's not enough to break the kiss that they're sharing.
He's exploring Noctis too, running his hands along his back, his shoulders, his neck and everywhere that he has access to. Thanks to the vision, he has a pretty good idea of what Noctis looks like now, but he doesn't want to recall that vision. Instead, he's relying on his hands to tell him what Noctis looks like, to him. Both the hair and the beard are still a bit of a surprise, but he... doesn't mind it actually. It suits the man in his arms now.
He's pretty proud of Noctis, actually. He's grown so much and he's learned from his mistakes. They both had honestly. But he's proud of Noctis just the same. He's proud, honored and thrilled to have been tasked with being someone's friend and brother. The task? Is no longer an issue, he's Noctis' friend cause he cares deeply about the man in his arms now. The man that loves him too.
It occurs to him then just how far his feelings go, being in this moment right now. It doesn't matter how deep his own feelings go, it was always going to hurt, losing Noctis tomorrow. It doesn't matter where his feelings lay on that matter. It will hurt like hell, and he'll need time to heal.
He's in love. It makes those butterflies jump around his stomach a bit, makes a shiver go up his spine.
He breaks apart the kiss then, needing a breather. Welcoming air back into his lungs as he leans his forehead against Noctis' own once more. ]
... Noct? [ a whisper, lovingly, but the question is there. Are you okay? ]
[It occurs to him distantly, as Ignis' hands travel the contours of his body and explore him in turn, how pleasant it is to be touched. He'd grown used to the absence of positive physical contact after Altissia. On the train he'd separated himself from the others, been shoved about by Gladio in response for it, had been reluctant to get too close to anyone lest he hurt them more or cause their deaths as well. The only one who tried to treat him normally was Prompto, and Noct had rewarded him for that by trying to kill him and throwing him off the train, hurting his best friend and losing one more tether of contact. He'd been unable to touch Luna's ghost after receiving Shiva's blessing, and in Gralea he'd been lost and alone for the bulk of it. Then, inside the Crystal, it was like he'd had no body at all, nothing around him to touch or hold besides himself. Not even Bahamut had touched him, instead letting him float in the god like a moon orbiting its massive planet. He'd drifted aimlessly through the empty void of magic, waiting for release.
Now here he is, ten years later, quietly relishing in the sensation of touch, of hands against his body, searching and soothing and warm. Something changes in the kiss and he responds to it, learning more and more as the seconds pass, breaking only for a quick intake air, trying to memorize the feeling of Ignis' lips. He wants to take this memory with him, wherever he goes beyond this place. Wants to remember what it was like to be loved by someone. He wants to give Ignis something worth remembering, too. One day he'll have a proper lover, Noctis hopes, someone he can stay with, who'll make him happy. These memories could be good for him eventually, not sad or bittersweet. Practice makes perfect, after all.
He draws back as Ignis does, not realizing how breathless he's become; he doesn't answer right away, just basking in what's happening here for a moment, the soft pleasure of it making his head thrum and his heart pound.] Yeah, [he manages, in answer to the unspoken question. He tilts his head to offer a better answer with his lips and misses in the dark, mouth catching at Ignis' cheek, and he huffs a bit of tired laughter, his first real laugh since coming back. Seems Ignis isn't the only blind one tonight. The campfire in the distance is doing him no favours.
He's okay. He feels... happy. He didn't think he'd be allowed to feel happy again, since waking up on Angelgard. He thought the quiet, sad tranquility he'd felt in the presence of his dearest friends was the best he could hope for. This is better than he'd ever dared to expect or imagine. He knows this feeling won't last, that the morning will come to greet them and take this bliss away, that a horrible separation looms ahead of them like some grand and terrifying storm. He's afraid of it, helplessly. Resigned to face it, yes, but he's not immune to fear, even if he won't tell anyone how deeply that fear has sunken its claws into him. There's a sick twisting in his gut mixing with relief- knowing he can do something to save those he loves, while knowing he has to be forever parted from them. He wonders if this is how his father felt, watching as his son walked away, knowing they'd never share another conversation. He wonders if his father too feared the death he'd welcomed into his home, the throne built up to claim his life. Noctis had always been afraid to be king; now he wishes he could stay as one, more than anything.
But it's fine. For now, it's fine. As long as Ignis doesn't ask him tomorrow, he won't have to lie. Tonight, he can say that he's okay.]
Iggy... you don't need to keep worrying about me. You're allowed to be selfish too, you know?
[ When was the last time he heard Noctis laugh like that? Far too long, not since before boarding the boat to get to Altissia. Things weren't happy after that boat trip, the group being torn apart, Noct losing Luna and among other things. Before that, he can recall campfire or hotel stays and hearing Noct's laughter as the days stress leaves the crew. Gods, he's missed hearing Noctis laugh. Does he detect a smile there too?
He can't help but let out a chuckle of amusement himself too. ] You missed. [ Tone teasing, but he's making no moves to correct the miss. Like Noctis, he's just enjoying the feel of their bodies, hands exploring and the heat radiating off them both. A hand makes its way to Noctis' chest, feeling his heartbeat there. It's matching Ignis' own heartbeats.
He's been gentle with his touch, never wanting to hurt Noctis. His free hand cups Noctis' cheek, thumb idly rubbing there. This time not to wipe away tears, but to let his own emotions show through touch.
He's honestly happy, he realizes. Whatever negative emotions that he'd been feeling earlier are gone. Melted away. He honestly can't recall the last time he was happy. Sure, he's been full filled with doing hunts or cooking for Cid, but he hasn't been happy. The past ten years have been rough and dark for Ignis. Too much fear, pain and worry about his friends, the state of the world and struggling to find his footing with his blindness. This is by far the happiest that he's ever been.
Out of all people to share such a moment with, it's Noctis. He'd never imaged himself in a situation like this, finding it hard to trust new people cause his disability. It's rather hard and difficult for him to think about things like this, he had resigned himself to a life alone. He knows full well that isn't easy for the other person either, taking care of a blind man. But maybe things might change for Ignis, now that he can stand on his two feet proper.
For now, this moment is too special. Something that he'll carry to his own grave when it's time for him to move on into the afterlife. This moment means a lot to Ignis. He's realizing a lot of things about himself tonight. He knows that this means a lot to Noctis as well.
He moves to kiss Noctis again, but stops when Noctis speaks up.
He'll always worry about Noctis, it's written into him to. He can push that aside tonight and let them be Ignis and Noctis. A small smile plays on his face, signaling that he got the message. No more worrying tonight.
Selfish, he's allowed to be selfish. Ignis wants to give in to his needs and desires. He wants to be selfish for a change, give into what he wants. And what he wants is Noctis, to feel their bodies touching, hands exploring and passionate kisses. He wants that. A lot. He feels the same coming off Noctis. ]
I've really missed you. [ the words are out of him before he even thinks about them. It's soft spoken in a lovingly way. It's true though, he's missed Noctis a lot. He tilts his head a bit, moving to kiss Noctis-- bump. He gives a sound of amusement as their noses bump by accident. It seems that he's not the only one missing the mark here. He readjusts himself a bit, but this time, he hits the mark. As their lips meet, Ignis is quick to strength the kiss, getting it back to where it was before.
For tonight, he can be Noctis' and Noctis is his. ]
[They stay like that for a while, quietly exploring, kissing, indulging in one another's company, until at last they break apart and don't come back together again, merely breathing close, letting the wave of quiet desire settle into a softer, more peaceful affection. Noctis shifts and tugs Ignis into a close hug instead, chin to his shoulder, fingers sifting through his hair, feeling the new style, remembering the texture of it. He's missed this, too. He will miss this, wherever he goes, if his consciousness will still exist beyond his demise. For a country so fixed upon death and related lore, he knows astonishingly little about the afterlife. A king of Lucis never had to concern himself with that, since their souls had always gone to the ring, anyway. He doesn't know what's to become of him or all of the other souls once the last king dies, doesn't know what'll happen to the ring.
Still. If he has any mind to remember, he wants to remember this. How it felt to be held, how Ignis feels around him.
Eventually he speaks up, his voice faint, almost muffled but close enough to Ignis' ear that he should hear it.]
Iggy... don't hate me for this, but I need you to do me a favour. A promise.
[He closes his eyes, not offering it yet, but waiting for the agreement first. Ignis will do anything for him. He's taking advantage of this knowledge, and this is the part he's hoping Ignis will not resent him for.]
[ As the waves of desire settle down between the two, he lets himself be pulled into that hug. His arms go around Noctis, his chin resting comfortably on Noct's shoulder. He lets himself breathe, quietly reflecting on everything.
He'd do anything for Noctis, he knows that much. But he feels his stomach dropping and a sense of worry coming over him. He takes a deep breath and nods his head. ]
Anything. [ he whispers. ] I promise. [ no matter how much it's going to hurt. ]
[Gods, here goes. He hesitates, then pulls back enough that he can look Ignis in the eyes, as much as he can see in the dim light. Ignis can't see him, but if he's going to ask him of this, he deserves to share whatever pain it causes Ignis.]
Promise me you'll live, after. Promise me you'll try to find happiness.
[When the sun rises, when he's gone. He's never thought Ignis to be the suicidal type, but self-sacrificial is absolutely a known trait in the man's personality. He doesn't want Ignis to think for a second of following Noctis into the beyond, as he'd followed him everywhere else, too. And... he doesn't want Ignis to just wallow in the grief of this, either. He doesn't want to be mourned forever.]
[ He can feel Noctis leaving his shoulder, pulling back a bit. Noctis is looking at him and waiting for his reaction, he waits a moment until Noctis speaks up.
He feels like he's been hit. Hard. He exhales a breath, but doesn't pull away or look away. Fresh tears prick at his eyes, though he doesn't let them fall. He says nothing, quiet and finding it difficult to speak up. He's hurt not by the request itself, but what Noctis thinks he'll do. He won't, he can't.
Couple of more minutes pass before he finally finds his voice. He gives Noctis a firm squeeze and tugs him back into that hug. ]
... I've got people depending on me here. The others, Cid, Cindy. I wouldn't-- [ he takes a deep breath ]
I'll join you on my own terms, when it's time for me to go. [ his voice is trembling, he doesn't resent Noctis for this at all. How can he? Not after the night they just shared. ] Be it by old age or sickness.
[ he turns his head a bit, planting a firm kiss on Noctis' cheek as if to say It's okay, I don't blame you. He'll do anything to protect Noctis, but he wouldn't dare pull a suicidal act like that. ]
[It's the answer he'd expected, but Noctis can't quite help the tension he'd felt as it slowly eases from his body language, and he leans his cheek into the kiss. He closes his eyes, exhales softly, and lifts one of Ignis' hands to press a kiss to his palm in turn.]
...Thanks. I... I'm sorry. I had to be sure. You've done so much... you deserve to have a life, Iggy. [Another kiss to his hand, longer this time, finding it difficult to let go.] Live for both of us.
[This part is selfish of him as well, he knows. To ask Ignis to carry his memory, live for the sake of anyone but himself. He almost doesn't say it, but the words leave his lips in a half-choked breath. Ignis has already lived for him, for so many years; one of the biggest reasons he'd had so much freedom, been able to live as lackadaisical as he'd done growing up, is because Ignis had stepped up and taken on so much responsibility. Still, if he's allowed to ask only one thing... he hopes Ignis won't take it too seriously. If it keeps the man alive on the darker days - and he knows there will be, he knows the pain of love and loss all too well - then he won't regret saying it.]
I don't blame you, you're just looking out for me. Ten years hasn't changed you. [ he reaches for Noctis' free hand with his own and gives it an affection squeeze. ]
I already promised that I wouldn't forget you. [ How can he when the man means so much to him? ] You've given me a wonderful gift tonight, Noct. It's the least I can do to repay you.
[He said it already, but he can't help saying it again; he feels it too strongly, that wave of gratefulness that his friends will live on past him, that those he loves will endure beyond his death. They deserve it, fighting so long in the dark, waiting so faithfully. He'll do his best to give them a world worth living in- a world in the sun, a world where they can travel freely and see the stars.
He regrets that Ignis won't be able to see the clear sky - stargazing had been their thing, for years, so to lose it for both of them makes his heart ache - but that was the price he'd paid, and there's little to be done about it. All of his power, and he can't heal a wound so old, or grievous.
He lowers their hands between them, glancing back at the camp- things have quieted down, and he can see the silhouette of a figure still seated by the fire, keeping watch. Gladio, judging by the build- he's waiting up for them. They shouldn't linger too long, as they'll all need rest before tomorrow. He's slept for ten years, so he's okay, but the others deserve a full night's peace.]
We... should head back. Can't stay here all night. [Much as he wants to. If they're going to survive tomorrow, they can't go in half-assed.]
[ He doesn't want to either, but he slowly nods his head. ]
Alright, on one request. [ He squeezes both of Noctis' hands in his own. ] Why don't you get the sleeping bags ready? I'll join you in a few minutes, but I'd like to keep close to you.
[ He wouldn't mind sleeping next to Noctis, then waking up next to him later.
He's trying not to think about tomorrow, keeping it out his mind. He doesn't want to face it until he wakes up. ]
[Noctis makes a faintly amused noise at that.] Will do. [He's not opposed to the idea. In truth he'd like to surround himself by all of his friends, feeling them close to him, listening to them breathe and just indulging in the experience of being with them again, of being near people and getting to touch, see, hear them. He imagines the other two will be amenable to it, but if they're already asleep or less inclined, sleeping close to Ignis will be enough to satisfy that want. And Ignis making the suggestion means he doesn't have to ask for it. As it's happened so often before, Ignis knows what he needs even before he does.]
Don't stay out too late, or I'll come looking for you.
[He presses one last kiss to the corner of Ignis' mouth, squeezing his hands, before reluctantly stepping back. He takes a moment to find Ignis' gloves and visor, so he doesn't have to stumble around in the dark for them. He'll need them tomorrow. Then, he murmurs a quick "see you," (not a farewell) and heads for the fire to greet Gladio.]
[ As Noctis hands him his visor and gloves, he mumbles a soft "thanks". He can hear him walking away and he lets out a soft sigh. He lets a hand go to his lips where Noct had just kissed him. Butterflies hit his stomach hard again and his head feels fuzzy. He's on cloud nine, in love.
He takes a moment to reflect on the nights events. He's cried, he's confessed and had the most wonderful night in his life. It doesn't hit him until then just how exhausted he feels. Mentally and physically.
A thought does hit him. One more promise. To come to this campsite once a year to honor their last night together. He wants to keep this memory alive, somehow. Suddenly, he wants to be by Noctis' side.
He tugs his gloves back on at least, but he leaves the visor in his hand. He takes a step and misjudges it, curses mentally. The visor drops from his hand as he stumbles a bit, falling!
He's falling and he goes to grab an edge blindly---
--- but something catches him. A powerful arm has him locked in a tight grip. He feels like he's being crushed. It takes him a moment to process what just happened.
He slipped and fell, a daemon has him. One that he's tangled with before, but hasn't done so again. Most hunters stay away from this particular one. It's too deadly. Daemons had gotten more deadly as the years had gone by.
Ignis finds himself trapped, pinned against the daemon's chest, his own arms locked behind his back, pinned between him and the daemon's chest. Another problem, he can't summon out his daggers this way and his magic doesn't seem to be working. Cursing, he kicks back at the evil thing, but it isn't letting him go.
The daemon's arm is wide enough to where it's covering most of Ignis' upper body.
His throat is being pressed against too. Air! He's starting to struggle to breathe. He can't go out like this. No, no, no. He doesn't want to die.
Don't stay out too late, or I'll come looking for you.
Noct! He needs help, but that tells him enough. Noctis is probably worried sick about him about now. ]
Noct! [ he yells out, terrified, pleading, desperate. ]
Nooooooooooct! [ yelling as loud as he can, praying that his calls reaches Noctis' ears.
The daemon, once it snatched Ignis, had been walking away this whole time. Leaving the safety of the campfire. He's fighting with everything that he has, but it's a losing battle. He can't get himself free from the daemon's grasp like this.
His throat is being pressed on harder, causing him to start a bit. It's killing him, bit by bit. He's terrified out of his wits at this point. Ignis find that he can't yell anymore, his air pipes slowly being locked up. His face is twisting in pure pain. It hurts, oh god, does it hurt. It's hurting him to just breathe, but he keeps at it. Only thing that's keeping him fighting is the thought of Noctis.
He doesn't want to go out like this. Please, please, please... He can't die. Please let Noctis have heard him. Please he quietly begs.
[I'll be fine, he says. Noctis clings to those words, somewhat uneasy about leaving Ignis in the dark like that, but understanding that he might have his reasons. It was probably hard enough for him to cry in front of Noct, so maybe he wanted to make sure his grief could be contained before he faced the others again. He gets the sleeping bags arranged in a way that satisfies him, bullying his and Ignis' in the center with Gladio and Prompto flanking them. They can figure out who ends up where after the fact, and Noct has a few minutes to himself to decide. Prompto's arguably the best cuddler, but Gladio's a solid and secure wall between him and the outside. Maybe Ignis has a preference...
Once the tent is sorted, he heads back out to take Gladio's place by the fire while he waits for Ignis' return, mulling over sleeping options further to avoid letting his mind wander to darker things. He'd much prefer to measure the value of one bedfellow or another instead of contemplating his own mortality. Again.
Thankfully, he's not so lost in his thoughts that he misses Ignis screaming his name, out in the dark. In danger.
He curses and is on his feet in an instant, flinging his chair at the tent with a shout of, "Get up, there's trouble!" at the others before he's warping back in the direction of where he and Ignis had been talking. He can't point them where to go or leave them a guiding note, but his magic is hardly subtle, especially in the dead of night. They'll see his light in the dark.
Stupid, stupid! He should never have left. Privacy isn't worth someone's life. He warps once, twice, following the noise until he spots the telltale sickly glow of a daemon he's never seen before, wrapped around a figure he knows must be Ignis. he doesn't think beyond that, only summons the Blade of the Mystic and flings it at the daemon's arm, warping at once to stab then swing, trying to sever its arm and release Ignis from its grasp. Power surges to life around him, the light of the Crystal flaring and begging to be awakened, but he can't risk it until Ignis is loose. He phases through an enraged swipe of the monster's free hand, then swings again, and the limb tears free enough to release Ignis at last.]
[ Ignis is slowly losing his fight and battle with the daemon. It's hurting him to just breathe and life is fading from his eyes.
No! He has to hold on, he has to!
A familiar sound! Noct?! He wants to yell, but he can't. Instead, he eases his struggling a bit and the next thing he knows he's falling to the ground, landing with a thud and rolling a couple of paces away. He stops flat on his stomach.
He's not out of the clear. His mind is hazy, still struggling to breathe and not die on the spot. Weakly, he reaches a hand up, as if reaching out to Noctis, but it drops immediately. The only sign that he's alive is the pained breathing he's doing. ]
[Noctis spares a glance at Ignis for just a second, just long enough to confirm he's out of the way and isn't in need of revival; he's moving, that's a good sign. And he believes in Ignis, knows him well enough to recognize that it'll take more than that to kill him. Right now what he needs is a proper rescue, and though he's ten years overdue, Noctis is ready to deliver.
With Ignis out of immediate danger, he stretches a hand out and calls forth the Armiger, the full array of Royal Arms materializing around him and twisting through the air, tearing through the daemon's flesh at all angles. The creature roars and lunges for him; he ghosts out of the way, trying to kite it further away from Ignis, and away from camp. He can warp himself back to safety if he needs to, but he refuses to risk Ignis' life even further. To endure ten long years of endless night, only to die on the final day before dawn returns? Not a chance in hell. He's the King of Light, dammit, and he's carrying the whole Crystal inside him. This daemon's going to regret hurting someone he loves.
The Armiger increases in intensity, and Noctis lights up the sky like an entire storm of shooting stars, flashing from one side of the daemon to the other to keep it disoriented, flying through the air like a specter of death. It's already starting to stagger, and it begins to thrash more desperately at him, trying to knock him away so that it might survive, but he doesn't let up for a second. Just a little more...]
[ He can hear the sounds of battle now and he forces himself to focus in on that. It's Noctis. He recognizes the battle style immediately.
He can hear Noct move the daemon away from Ignis, even though his mind is hazy and pained. There's no way he's dying here tonight, which is why he's fighting so hard against it. He's stronger than that.
He attempts to push himself up, but he flops back down on the ground.
Ignis believes in Noctis, he believes that he can win this fight. Ignis can hold on just a little longer, just a little longer... ]
[The Armiger doesn't last forever, but it rains down enough fire and fury to bring the daemon to its last legs. As his power flares and bursts outwards, winking out and leaving him drained, Noctis sinks back to the ground and very nearly drops to his hands and knees. The daemon raises its arm, about to send him flying, but suddenly Gladio and Prompto come rushing out of the dark, the latter firing wild shots into the daemon's eye while the former blocks the attack meant for Noctis. His Shield snaps for him to grab Ignis and move- they'll finish it off.
Noctis doesn't like the idea of leaving them either, but at least they're together, and he doesn't intend to go far. He hastily moves to Ignis' shoulder and crushes a potion against his chest to mend the worst of his wounds, dragging the man's arm over his shoulders and pulling him upright so he can guide them back towards the camp.]
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You asshole... [There's no anger or mockery in his tone, just a quiet sadness he can't quell.] You're not allowed to give me more reasons to stay.
[He can't. He can't, the world is already dying and barely existing on the edge. If they don't act soon, humans will die out, the planet won't be able to recover even after the sun's back. Ardyn won't wait peacefully forever either, once the rumours of his return spread around.
But gods he wants to stay with his family, with the people who love him. They deserve to hear it too, though, even if nothing's allowed to come of it. Ignis more than anyone else, who's stood by him through everything, supported him despite knowing he was going to die and that everything they've worked for their whole lives was for nothing, when that alongside his blindness would have been the perfect excuse to just... go home. Find a life for himself, one not risked by aiding and escorting the walking dead. Instead, he'd stayed. They're only this far because Ignis stayed.
He clenches his eyes shut tightly, shifting to rest his forehead against Ignis', their shaken breaths mingling in the air between them, proof that they're both still alive. This is... heavy. But it's a good weight, and one he'll happily bear, in stark contrast with everything else on his shoulders.]
I love you, too. [Years ago, those small, simple words had been so hard. Why? It meant so much to hear it, and yet he'd held back despite how he felt. What a coward he's been.] Whenever I needed someone, you were there. I can't ever repay you for it all, but... I'm glad it was you, Iggy.
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As their foreheads touch, he's perfectly aware of how close they are. He's touched by Noctis' words, he needed to hear that, on both counts.
It's funny, he thinks. He had originally followed Noctis to offer up his comfort, but did the tables turn rather quickly on him. He didn't realize how badly he needed the comfort himself. He knows that Noctis needs it too, hell, he'll be worried if Noctis wasn't afraid of what's to come.
He removes his glasses off his face, careful not to break the contact that they're sharing. He gently places them down on the ground by them. He wants to give Noctis a chance to look into his eyes.
He's relying heavily on his sense of touch to see. The hand that had been in Noctis' hair moves slowly towards his cheek, thumb idly brushing away the tears there. He doesn't like it when Noctis is upset, though he doesn't fault him at all in this case.
A couple of minutes pass by them.
He throws out logic and reason, throwing out the formalities. Though, the logic in him wants to speak up, but he shuts it down. Had this been any other night or situation, he'd listen to that voice. Instead, he's listening to his heart tonight. ]
You're worth everything. [ voice a whisper. The pain. The stress. The love and care. Everything that's he's been through and that they've been through, it's been worth it to Ignis. He wouldn't change a thing.
He tilts Noctis' chin up a bit. There's no hesitation as he shuts the distance, lips meeting Noctis', though clumsy. He shuts his eyes as he wraps his free arm back around Noctis. He's not sure how Noct is going to respond to this, but he puts everything that he's been feeling into this simple act.
He's never thought of things like this before. Romance, love. That's been the furthest thing from his mind. Until now, he supposes. He's never had a reason to share such an inmate moment with someone. He's not sure what's come over him all of a sudden to get him to kiss Noctis like this, but he's not thinking too hard about it. It's Noct.
Fresh tears streak down his face, a mix of emotions. Happy. Sad. Love. Even anger at the Gods. The most important thing he feels is the care and love that he has for Noctis. His stomach is doing flops, his head spinning. Still, he doesn't let go and he won't unless Noctis wants him to. ]
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He says nothing, letting Ignis explore his face, re-learn the contours and details, things that Noctis himself is still just as unfamiliar with. He blinks rapidly as the tears are noticed, fighting back against more. He thinks he's at least able to hold himself together well enough for a while, quiet and dignified as anyone might expect from their king.
And then Ignis says that, and kisses him, and Noctis feels himself fall apart a little, fraying at the weak seams holding together his calm.
"Worth everything." He's not, he shouldn't be. Ignis deserves better than this, better than the mess he became, better than his bad attitude and awkward personality. Someone regal and powerful, like his dad or the Founder King. He's just... Noct. Good at nothing a leader should be good at, only has to be good at fighting and dying. He couldn't even save Luna, and he doesn't want to fail to safe Ignis, either. (Again.) Even with all of that... Ignis is kissing him, holding him.
A soft noise escapes his lips, startled, faintly objecting, but he doesn't move away, merely lets himself be held, closing his eyes and clumsily tilts his head as he accepts the kiss for what it is and everything it represents: Ignis' feelings, whatever he wants to convey that words can't explain. How long as he wanted this? Has he been quietly suffering from this, too? He hopes it hasn't been long. Ignis is the one worth everything. He's worth the world, and he deserves it. He deserves to be happy. If this makes him happy, then-
-but it won't last. A single moment can't be enough, all they have is tonight, and then-
With a muffled curse he breaks away, his breath catching. No.] Iggy- Iggy, we can't- [they can, though. they just did.] You shouldn't- [that's not up to him.] why would you want this? [there it is.] I can't give you anything, I can't...
[Subconsciously he tilts his head forward, his lips ghosting across Ignis' a second time, but he forces himself back again. No.]
...There's no future for this. You deserve more than that.
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I bloody well know that. [ there's no malice or anger to his tone, just flat out sadness and grief there. He's not looking into starting anything here, he knows that nothing can come out of it. He's too smart for that. ]
N-noct. [ the lump is forming in the back of throat, making it difficult to speak. He takes a shaky breath, wondering where to start. Six, he wishes he has more time to figure out his feelings, but he doesn't have that luxury. Time is against them.
He still has his arm around Noctis, he hasn't pulled away completely. His free hand fishes for Noctis' and he holds it firm in his own. Still afraid to let go. ]
For ten years, [ he begins slowly ] I've been struggling to come to terms with this, of what's to come. It's been a long road, but [ he voice cracks as he admits it out loud, the terms that he's accepted what's to come. If he's honest with himself, he hasn't fully accepted it. ] I don't want you to die.
[ Fresh tears roll down his cheeks, as if saying it out loud breaks him. No, he's already broken down once tonight, he'll have more time for that later. ]
All I want, is a moment with you. [ Six, help him. He can't do this. He needs to, if he wants the closer that he desires. ]
All I want--- [ he shakes his head a little, no that's not right. ] No, need a way to say goodbye... [ without actually saying it. ]
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What about him, though? If this is his last free night alive, he should be allowed to do what he wants, as long as it doesn't jeopardize what comes tomorrow. So no commitments to survive, no promises, no hope. That still leaves a few options. If they both understand then... does it hurt, really? To let this happen? To accept this offered gift? It's just kissing. Kissing can't change fate. It can't stop the gods from claiming his life.
He knows he loves Ignis. Is he in love with him? That, he doesn't know. There's been no time to consider, since Insomnia. There's no great romance here. It's like when Luna died, stolen away before anything could come of their promised life together. He didn't know everything that she wanted, didn't understand what his true role would be beyond an assigned husband, but he'd felt warmth, at the thought of being with her. Of sharing himself, discovering what they were meant to be. He feels this for Ignis, now- a curiosity at the potential he'd never let himself consider, a warm craving for affection and comfort in the dark. A longing to make someone he loves happy, with whatever ability to do so is within his power.
He... doesn't have to know, ultimately. If he's in love. The answer won't change anything, can only hurt them. All he has to do is let himself feel, and follow where those feelings guide him.]
...Okay, [is his whispered response, finally. His free hand shifts to brush over Ignis' cheek, wiping a tear, watching his expression carefully.] If this is what you want, then... it's yours.
[I'm yours. For one night only, he can belong to his oldest and dearest friend, he can be loved. In the morning, the world and the gods can have him back. Tonight is theirs.]
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Of course, he loves Noctis. Though he suspects that he's in love with him, he can't be sure. If he's in love with Noctis, he won't be able to pinpoint as to when that happened. He was just going with his feelings when he kissed Noctis, not giving them any thought. It felt right to in the moment and that's something he's never felt before. To act on his feelings, to listen to his heart is a new ball game to him.
He gives Noctis' hand a squeeze as he waits a bit more. It's their last night together. They've known each other since they were children, going way back to ripe age of six for Ignis. Noctis has been such a constant person in his life, it's hard to image one without him in it. He's been doing okay the past ten years, but he's had hope to cling to. Hope that he could find a way to save his oldest friend, but tonight, he feels that slipping. All he wants to do now is comfort Noctis. He's terrified of leaving things between them this way, but when Noctis speaks up---
--- "It's yours." He leans his cheek into Noctis' hand, closing his eyes for a moment.
He doesn't have to ask what he means by that. I'm yours.
He says nothing for a minute, letting that wash over him. Just for one night, they can be together, lean on each other and block out the world around them. Just one night. Okay, that's enough. It's more than enough.
No hesitation as he pulls Noctis into a hug first and foremost. As his arms go around Noctis, he's giving himself a chance to just breathe. Though, he can't deny his heart beat picking up, or the small smile on his face. He's happy, only for a night.
He wants to explore Noctis a bit, but as his hand rubs idly at Noctis' back, he realizes that his gloves are in the way. He stops a moment, tugging them off behind Noctis' back and throws them lazily aside. He'll worry about those later. Free of the gloves, his lets his one of his hands roll up Noctis' back, pausing at his neck, then slowly making his way to his cheek. He can feel Noct's beard this time.
He leans his head forward a bit, judging the distance blindly and lets their foreheads rest against each other. He doesn't go in for the kiss, wanting to take his time here. ]
I love you [ he repeats that from earlier. ] and I don't regret anything. [ he has no regrets about tonight or what's to come from this.
It's bittersweet really, that this is their last night together and it's Noctis' last night on the world. He gives Noctis a moment to respond if he wishes to.
Just like before, he tilts Noctis' chin up and there's a slight hesitation this time, a slight fear of being pushed away, but he pulls Noctis in for a kiss, letting their lips meet again. He's still clumsy about it, being new and he can't see. He shuts his eyes and lets his heart do the talking for him. He's gently pulling Noctis closer to him, as if in a protective embrace as he's kissing him.
This simple act is tearing his heart in two though, a part of him sad about it, but it's overpowered by the love that's floating there. ]
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Noctis blinks rapidly at that, fighting back a fresh wave of tears, inhaling a shaky breath, and marveling at those words. After everything Ignis has had to endure, all the effort he's poured into something that's ultimately worthless, into a future that no longer exists... years of serving and supporting someone who won't live past tomorrow... even with all of that. No regrets. Like Noctis himself, he's glad for the life they've led together. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. It was wonderful in so, so many ways, too many to count and point out one by one. Through it all, just as Ignis had corrected minutes ago, he hadn't ever been truly alone. Much of that was thanks to the man holding him now.
He doesn't say anything, only trembles a little, overwhelmed by his thoughts. What can he say? Any words that might come to mind, Ignis knows already. This man knows his heart. Instead, when Ignis kisses him again, this time he kisses back. It's awkward, a little clumsy- he's never really kissed people before, besides maybe a chaste kiss here or there when he was little and wasn't likely to be judged for it. He has to learn the steps on the fly that so many people learned in their teenage years, those who were more free to share themselves with others, who wouldn't be judged for their choices by the mass media or the country's government, by the king himself. Not that he thinks his father would have objected to this or anything. His mother had been Regis' childhood friend, too.
Maybe it's natural to feel this, for someone who's seen you at your best and at your worst for your entire life and still stayed with you despite it all. Maybe this was always meant to happen.
He tries not to overthink it. He moves with Ignis, following his lead, eyes closed and mind going hazy. It's... nice. It's warm, wrapped up in Iggy's arms, and he holds the man in return, his hands drifting over shoulders and back, feeling the familiar muscles and looking for what's changed since they last made contact even remotely like this, where he's filled out and where he's slimmed down, how hard these past ten years have been for him. He doesn't have very long, but he wants to know Ignis as much as he can in the time left to them. After so many years spent together, he hates the idea of there being so much of Ignis that he doesn't know. He won't have time to learn everything, and that, he does regret a little. But he'll do what he can, and if fate is kind for just a single night, maybe he can avoid screwing anything up before they have to move on. That's all he wants, really: to make Ignis happy, to give him some semblance of peace. It could be that he'll find some of his own in the process. He could admittedly use a little more.]
no subject
He can feel Noctis exploring him too, and it occurs to him what Noctis is doing. Ignis is a bit more fit, after spending the past ten years fighting a lot more. Granted, he had to learn to fight blind, but once he found his way, he started doing solo hunts, out on his own. Monsters and daemons had roughened him up a bit, but he's only been able to heal and recover from it. There's no noticeable new scars or bruises thanks to that.
Ignis pulls very, very slightly back, creating space for Noctis to explore around his chest next. It's not enough to break the kiss that they're sharing.
He's exploring Noctis too, running his hands along his back, his shoulders, his neck and everywhere that he has access to. Thanks to the vision, he has a pretty good idea of what Noctis looks like now, but he doesn't want to recall that vision. Instead, he's relying on his hands to tell him what Noctis looks like, to him. Both the hair and the beard are still a bit of a surprise, but he... doesn't mind it actually. It suits the man in his arms now.
He's pretty proud of Noctis, actually. He's grown so much and he's learned from his mistakes. They both had honestly. But he's proud of Noctis just the same. He's proud, honored and thrilled to have been tasked with being someone's friend and brother. The task? Is no longer an issue, he's Noctis' friend cause he cares deeply about the man in his arms now. The man that loves him too.
It occurs to him then just how far his feelings go, being in this moment right now. It doesn't matter how deep his own feelings go, it was always going to hurt, losing Noctis tomorrow. It doesn't matter where his feelings lay on that matter. It will hurt like hell, and he'll need time to heal.
He's in love. It makes those butterflies jump around his stomach a bit, makes a shiver go up his spine.
He breaks apart the kiss then, needing a breather. Welcoming air back into his lungs as he leans his forehead against Noctis' own once more. ]
... Noct? [ a whisper, lovingly, but the question is there. Are you okay? ]
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Now here he is, ten years later, quietly relishing in the sensation of touch, of hands against his body, searching and soothing and warm. Something changes in the kiss and he responds to it, learning more and more as the seconds pass, breaking only for a quick intake air, trying to memorize the feeling of Ignis' lips. He wants to take this memory with him, wherever he goes beyond this place. Wants to remember what it was like to be loved by someone. He wants to give Ignis something worth remembering, too. One day he'll have a proper lover, Noctis hopes, someone he can stay with, who'll make him happy. These memories could be good for him eventually, not sad or bittersweet. Practice makes perfect, after all.
He draws back as Ignis does, not realizing how breathless he's become; he doesn't answer right away, just basking in what's happening here for a moment, the soft pleasure of it making his head thrum and his heart pound.] Yeah, [he manages, in answer to the unspoken question. He tilts his head to offer a better answer with his lips and misses in the dark, mouth catching at Ignis' cheek, and he huffs a bit of tired laughter, his first real laugh since coming back. Seems Ignis isn't the only blind one tonight. The campfire in the distance is doing him no favours.
He's okay. He feels... happy. He didn't think he'd be allowed to feel happy again, since waking up on Angelgard. He thought the quiet, sad tranquility he'd felt in the presence of his dearest friends was the best he could hope for. This is better than he'd ever dared to expect or imagine. He knows this feeling won't last, that the morning will come to greet them and take this bliss away, that a horrible separation looms ahead of them like some grand and terrifying storm. He's afraid of it, helplessly. Resigned to face it, yes, but he's not immune to fear, even if he won't tell anyone how deeply that fear has sunken its claws into him. There's a sick twisting in his gut mixing with relief- knowing he can do something to save those he loves, while knowing he has to be forever parted from them. He wonders if this is how his father felt, watching as his son walked away, knowing they'd never share another conversation. He wonders if his father too feared the death he'd welcomed into his home, the throne built up to claim his life. Noctis had always been afraid to be king; now he wishes he could stay as one, more than anything.
But it's fine. For now, it's fine. As long as Ignis doesn't ask him tomorrow, he won't have to lie. Tonight, he can say that he's okay.]
Iggy... you don't need to keep worrying about me. You're allowed to be selfish too, you know?
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He can't help but let out a chuckle of amusement himself too. ] You missed. [ Tone teasing, but he's making no moves to correct the miss. Like Noctis, he's just enjoying the feel of their bodies, hands exploring and the heat radiating off them both. A hand makes its way to Noctis' chest, feeling his heartbeat there. It's matching Ignis' own heartbeats.
He's been gentle with his touch, never wanting to hurt Noctis. His free hand cups Noctis' cheek, thumb idly rubbing there. This time not to wipe away tears, but to let his own emotions show through touch.
He's honestly happy, he realizes. Whatever negative emotions that he'd been feeling earlier are gone. Melted away. He honestly can't recall the last time he was happy. Sure, he's been full filled with doing hunts or cooking for Cid, but he hasn't been happy. The past ten years have been rough and dark for Ignis. Too much fear, pain and worry about his friends, the state of the world and struggling to find his footing with his blindness. This is by far the happiest that he's ever been.
Out of all people to share such a moment with, it's Noctis. He'd never imaged himself in a situation like this, finding it hard to trust new people cause his disability. It's rather hard and difficult for him to think about things like this, he had resigned himself to a life alone. He knows full well that isn't easy for the other person either, taking care of a blind man. But maybe things might change for Ignis, now that he can stand on his two feet proper.
For now, this moment is too special. Something that he'll carry to his own grave when it's time for him to move on into the afterlife. This moment means a lot to Ignis. He's realizing a lot of things about himself tonight. He knows that this means a lot to Noctis as well.
He moves to kiss Noctis again, but stops when Noctis speaks up.
He'll always worry about Noctis, it's written into him to. He can push that aside tonight and let them be Ignis and Noctis. A small smile plays on his face, signaling that he got the message. No more worrying tonight.
Selfish, he's allowed to be selfish. Ignis wants to give in to his needs and desires. He wants to be selfish for a change, give into what he wants. And what he wants is Noctis, to feel their bodies touching, hands exploring and passionate kisses. He wants that. A lot. He feels the same coming off Noctis. ]
I've really missed you. [ the words are out of him before he even thinks about them. It's soft spoken in a lovingly way. It's true though, he's missed Noctis a lot. He tilts his head a bit, moving to kiss Noctis-- bump. He gives a sound of amusement as their noses bump by accident. It seems that he's not the only one missing the mark here. He readjusts himself a bit, but this time, he hits the mark. As their lips meet, Ignis is quick to strength the kiss, getting it back to where it was before.
For tonight, he can be Noctis' and Noctis is his. ]
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Still. If he has any mind to remember, he wants to remember this. How it felt to be held, how Ignis feels around him.
Eventually he speaks up, his voice faint, almost muffled but close enough to Ignis' ear that he should hear it.]
Iggy... don't hate me for this, but I need you to do me a favour. A promise.
[He closes his eyes, not offering it yet, but waiting for the agreement first. Ignis will do anything for him. He's taking advantage of this knowledge, and this is the part he's hoping Ignis will not resent him for.]
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He'd do anything for Noctis, he knows that much. But he feels his stomach dropping and a sense of worry coming over him. He takes a deep breath and nods his head. ]
Anything. [ he whispers. ] I promise. [ no matter how much it's going to hurt. ]
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Promise me you'll live, after. Promise me you'll try to find happiness.
[When the sun rises, when he's gone. He's never thought Ignis to be the suicidal type, but self-sacrificial is absolutely a known trait in the man's personality. He doesn't want Ignis to think for a second of following Noctis into the beyond, as he'd followed him everywhere else, too. And... he doesn't want Ignis to just wallow in the grief of this, either. He doesn't want to be mourned forever.]
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He feels like he's been hit. Hard. He exhales a breath, but doesn't pull away or look away. Fresh tears prick at his eyes, though he doesn't let them fall. He says nothing, quiet and finding it difficult to speak up. He's hurt not by the request itself, but what Noctis thinks he'll do. He won't, he can't.
Couple of more minutes pass before he finally finds his voice. He gives Noctis a firm squeeze and tugs him back into that hug. ]
... I've got people depending on me here. The others, Cid, Cindy. I wouldn't-- [ he takes a deep breath ]
I'll join you on my own terms, when it's time for me to go. [ his voice is trembling, he doesn't resent Noctis for this at all. How can he? Not after the night they just shared. ] Be it by old age or sickness.
[ he turns his head a bit, planting a firm kiss on Noctis' cheek as if to say It's okay, I don't blame you. He'll do anything to protect Noctis, but he wouldn't dare pull a suicidal act like that. ]
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...Thanks. I... I'm sorry. I had to be sure. You've done so much... you deserve to have a life, Iggy. [Another kiss to his hand, longer this time, finding it difficult to let go.] Live for both of us.
[This part is selfish of him as well, he knows. To ask Ignis to carry his memory, live for the sake of anyone but himself. He almost doesn't say it, but the words leave his lips in a half-choked breath. Ignis has already lived for him, for so many years; one of the biggest reasons he'd had so much freedom, been able to live as lackadaisical as he'd done growing up, is because Ignis had stepped up and taken on so much responsibility. Still, if he's allowed to ask only one thing... he hopes Ignis won't take it too seriously. If it keeps the man alive on the darker days - and he knows there will be, he knows the pain of love and loss all too well - then he won't regret saying it.]
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I don't blame you, you're just looking out for me. Ten years hasn't changed you. [ he reaches for Noctis' free hand with his own and gives it an affection squeeze. ]
I already promised that I wouldn't forget you. [ How can he when the man means so much to him? ] You've given me a wonderful gift tonight, Noct. It's the least I can do to repay you.
I'll live for the both of us, I promise.
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[He said it already, but he can't help saying it again; he feels it too strongly, that wave of gratefulness that his friends will live on past him, that those he loves will endure beyond his death. They deserve it, fighting so long in the dark, waiting so faithfully. He'll do his best to give them a world worth living in- a world in the sun, a world where they can travel freely and see the stars.
He regrets that Ignis won't be able to see the clear sky - stargazing had been their thing, for years, so to lose it for both of them makes his heart ache - but that was the price he'd paid, and there's little to be done about it. All of his power, and he can't heal a wound so old, or grievous.
He lowers their hands between them, glancing back at the camp- things have quieted down, and he can see the silhouette of a figure still seated by the fire, keeping watch. Gladio, judging by the build- he's waiting up for them. They shouldn't linger too long, as they'll all need rest before tomorrow. He's slept for ten years, so he's okay, but the others deserve a full night's peace.]
We... should head back. Can't stay here all night. [Much as he wants to. If they're going to survive tomorrow, they can't go in half-assed.]
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Alright, on one request. [ He squeezes both of Noctis' hands in his own. ] Why don't you get the sleeping bags ready? I'll join you in a few minutes, but I'd like to keep close to you.
[ He wouldn't mind sleeping next to Noctis, then waking up next to him later.
He's trying not to think about tomorrow, keeping it out his mind. He doesn't want to face it until he wakes up. ]
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Don't stay out too late, or I'll come looking for you.
[He presses one last kiss to the corner of Ignis' mouth, squeezing his hands, before reluctantly stepping back. He takes a moment to find Ignis' gloves and visor, so he doesn't have to stumble around in the dark for them. He'll need them tomorrow. Then, he murmurs a quick "see you," (not a farewell) and heads for the fire to greet Gladio.]
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[ As Noctis hands him his visor and gloves, he mumbles a soft "thanks". He can hear him walking away and he lets out a soft sigh. He lets a hand go to his lips where Noct had just kissed him. Butterflies hit his stomach hard again and his head feels fuzzy. He's on cloud nine, in love.
He takes a moment to reflect on the nights events. He's cried, he's confessed and had the most wonderful night in his life. It doesn't hit him until then just how exhausted he feels. Mentally and physically.
A thought does hit him. One more promise. To come to this campsite once a year to honor their last night together. He wants to keep this memory alive, somehow. Suddenly, he wants to be by Noctis' side.
He tugs his gloves back on at least, but he leaves the visor in his hand. He takes a step and misjudges it, curses mentally. The visor drops from his hand as he stumbles a bit, falling!
He's falling and he goes to grab an edge blindly---
--- but something catches him. A powerful arm has him locked in a tight grip. He feels like he's being crushed. It takes him a moment to process what just happened.
He slipped and fell, a daemon has him. One that he's tangled with before, but hasn't done so again. Most hunters stay away from this particular one. It's too deadly. Daemons had gotten more deadly as the years had gone by.
Ignis finds himself trapped, pinned against the daemon's chest, his own arms locked behind his back, pinned between him and the daemon's chest. Another problem, he can't summon out his daggers this way and his magic doesn't seem to be working. Cursing, he kicks back at the evil thing, but it isn't letting him go.
The daemon's arm is wide enough to where it's covering most of Ignis' upper body.
His throat is being pressed against too. Air! He's starting to struggle to breathe. He can't go out like this. No, no, no. He doesn't want to die.
Don't stay out too late, or I'll come looking for you.
Noct! He needs help, but that tells him enough. Noctis is probably worried sick about him about now. ]
Noct! [ he yells out, terrified, pleading, desperate. ]
Nooooooooooct! [ yelling as loud as he can, praying that his calls reaches Noctis' ears.
The daemon, once it snatched Ignis, had been walking away this whole time. Leaving the safety of the campfire. He's fighting with everything that he has, but it's a losing battle. He can't get himself free from the daemon's grasp like this.
His throat is being pressed on harder, causing him to start a bit. It's killing him, bit by bit. He's terrified out of his wits at this point. Ignis find that he can't yell anymore, his air pipes slowly being locked up. His face is twisting in pure pain. It hurts, oh god, does it hurt. It's hurting him to just breathe, but he keeps at it. Only thing that's keeping him fighting is the thought of Noctis.
He doesn't want to go out like this. Please, please, please... He can't die. Please let Noctis have heard him. Please he quietly begs.
I don't want to die without him... ]
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Once the tent is sorted, he heads back out to take Gladio's place by the fire while he waits for Ignis' return, mulling over sleeping options further to avoid letting his mind wander to darker things. He'd much prefer to measure the value of one bedfellow or another instead of contemplating his own mortality. Again.
Thankfully, he's not so lost in his thoughts that he misses Ignis screaming his name, out in the dark. In danger.
He curses and is on his feet in an instant, flinging his chair at the tent with a shout of, "Get up, there's trouble!" at the others before he's warping back in the direction of where he and Ignis had been talking. He can't point them where to go or leave them a guiding note, but his magic is hardly subtle, especially in the dead of night. They'll see his light in the dark.
Stupid, stupid! He should never have left. Privacy isn't worth someone's life. He warps once, twice, following the noise until he spots the telltale sickly glow of a daemon he's never seen before, wrapped around a figure he knows must be Ignis. he doesn't think beyond that, only summons the Blade of the Mystic and flings it at the daemon's arm, warping at once to stab then swing, trying to sever its arm and release Ignis from its grasp. Power surges to life around him, the light of the Crystal flaring and begging to be awakened, but he can't risk it until Ignis is loose. He phases through an enraged swipe of the monster's free hand, then swings again, and the limb tears free enough to release Ignis at last.]
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No! He has to hold on, he has to!
A familiar sound! Noct?! He wants to yell, but he can't. Instead, he eases his struggling a bit and the next thing he knows he's falling to the ground, landing with a thud and rolling a couple of paces away. He stops flat on his stomach.
He's not out of the clear. His mind is hazy, still struggling to breathe and not die on the spot. Weakly, he reaches a hand up, as if reaching out to Noctis, but it drops immediately. The only sign that he's alive is the pained breathing he's doing. ]
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With Ignis out of immediate danger, he stretches a hand out and calls forth the Armiger, the full array of Royal Arms materializing around him and twisting through the air, tearing through the daemon's flesh at all angles. The creature roars and lunges for him; he ghosts out of the way, trying to kite it further away from Ignis, and away from camp. He can warp himself back to safety if he needs to, but he refuses to risk Ignis' life even further. To endure ten long years of endless night, only to die on the final day before dawn returns? Not a chance in hell. He's the King of Light, dammit, and he's carrying the whole Crystal inside him. This daemon's going to regret hurting someone he loves.
The Armiger increases in intensity, and Noctis lights up the sky like an entire storm of shooting stars, flashing from one side of the daemon to the other to keep it disoriented, flying through the air like a specter of death. It's already starting to stagger, and it begins to thrash more desperately at him, trying to knock him away so that it might survive, but he doesn't let up for a second. Just a little more...]
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He can hear Noct move the daemon away from Ignis, even though his mind is hazy and pained. There's no way he's dying here tonight, which is why he's fighting so hard against it. He's stronger than that.
He attempts to push himself up, but he flops back down on the ground.
Ignis believes in Noctis, he believes that he can win this fight. Ignis can hold on just a little longer, just a little longer... ]
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Noctis doesn't like the idea of leaving them either, but at least they're together, and he doesn't intend to go far. He hastily moves to Ignis' shoulder and crushes a potion against his chest to mend the worst of his wounds, dragging the man's arm over his shoulders and pulling him upright so he can guide them back towards the camp.]
C'mon, Iggy, you're okay. Stay with me now.
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