...Yeah. I don't think even the Draconian would have let me lose those memories. Ardyn wanted me to hate him enough to kill him, but the Crystal wanted me to know his history, so I'd set him free from his curse. I probably need both to end it all.
[Without those memories, would he have the resolve he needs to see it through to the final blow? To survive whatever Ardyn sends his way? Who knows. He's just grateful that at last, he has all the tools he needs to finish the prophecy, fulfill his duty, and save everyone. It's been a long enough road for all of the people waiting on him.
He doesn't want to spare Ardyn any more of his thoughts now, though, so he shrugs it off and takes a bite of the pastry. He closes his eyes immediately, making a soft, appreciative noise. That... that is the one.]
...You did it... you finally did it. It's perfect, Specs.
[ He doesn't really want to talk about Ardyn or what's to come tomorrow either, so he just listens quietly, turning the pastry over in his hand.
Specs, now there's a nickname that he hasn't heard in a long, long time. Feeling pleased with himself though, he glances back at Noctis. ] I seem to recall having a bit of help. [ then he starts eating his own pastry. ]
I... wanted to give it a final go, whether we found the strawberries or not. It's been far too long since I've given it a try.
It's good to hear that it's perfect. [ finally, after all of these years. ]
You'd better remember the recipe. Gladio and Prompto will want to try it, too.
[Once the world is thriving again, at least. Once the crops begin to flourish and travel between Lucis and Tenebrae is safe, when he can pick wild ulwaat berries and waste resources on dessert instead of rations.]
Noct, it's me. [ He can't help but give Noctis an amused look at that, come on, he has this one memorized to the letter. ]
Admittedly, Lestallum wasn't for my sake, it on a blind faith that I could give the pastries another go. I wanted to, for you, Noct. [ he smiles before he looks back to the sky, snatching his Ebony can in his hand and finally takes a sip of it. ]
Ebony became rare after some time, it has been a while.
I was wondering about that. Already thought it was incredible how much everyone's survived these past ten years, but knowing you went without this stuff? I thought it was in your blood.
[He finally cracks open his can and takes a sip... and grimaces, leaning away from it.]
[To Noct's credit, he makes it about halfway through the can like this before he splutters, drawing it away from his mouth, and wordlessly offers his can over to Ignis, wiping his suit sleeve across his chin. He tried, man. This evil is too strong for the king of kings.]
[ He snickers quietly and takes the offered can, setting it beside his own empty can. He promptly moves the box of pastries off their laps, shuffling it to Noctis' other side. ]
Come lean on me, Noct. [ He feels bad really, but he won't let Noctis suffer alone like that. ]
[Noctis doesn't hesitate, just exhales a sigh at his defeat and slumps against Ignis' side, nibbling away at a pastry to get the coffee taste out of his mouth.]
[Not the most helpful answer, but sometimes he is admittedly driven by impulse. It's what leads him to fly headlong into battle without a plan, why his life is so often pure chaos in human form.]
Do you remember why you started playing King's Knight with us?
It... meant a lot, that you tried something new for me, even if it wasn't really your thing. Not a lot of people had the time to do that for me.
["Busy" was a word that described almost all of his loved ones, growing up. He didn't begrudge their priorities, considering the stakes, but that didn't make it any less lonely. Something so small as a friend joining him in a game on occasion made a pretty big difference, on a bad day.]
[After everything they've been through, everything sacrificed, all for the sake of his success, he has no reason to gripe. It was all to get him to where he is now, and it's not a bad place at all, really.]
[ Ignis is quiet after that, reflecting on the past what, twelve hours? So much has happened in that short amount of time for him. Them. ]
... When I first heard your voice in Hammerhead, my heart was split in two. [ he begins slowly, looking to the night sky at first. ] I was happy to hear you, but I wasn't ready for what's to come.
Being here with you has brought me peace and comfort. [ He looks at Noctis now, a small sad smile forming on his face. ] I'm not fully ready, but I'm ready as I can be.
[ It'll hurt, Noctis' death. He knows that no amount of prep can ever prepare for him it. ]
... I'm in love with you, Noctis. [ he knows that nothing can come out of it, but he doesn't want to live with regrets at all. He's happy and free for the first time in his life, he thinks. ]
Noctis doesn't answer for a bit. He'd been hoping, really, really hoping, that this romantic love that Ignis was exploring with him could be something fleeting, a soft extra bit of memories for him to carry into the dawn, maybe to give him the comfort and experience he'd need to move on. Ignis loving him is wonderful, a voiced truth he's always known. It's very different from Ignis being in love with him. It was the difference between Gladio's long line of girlfriends and his father subtly still grieving and unmarried 20 years after his wife died following Noct's birth. It... makes him worry. That isn't the life he wants for Ignis, so he hopes that it won't be as all-consuming as that. Even if he never finds love again, let his life at least be fulfilling without it.
He doesn't know what to say, but he needs to say something, so after the silence reigns for almost too long he inhales a shaken breath and presses himself closer against Ignis' side, arms sliding around him to hold him tightly, murmuring into his shoulder,]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Iggy... I'm so sorry...
[Gods, but he wishes he could stay. He wants to stay, and be loved, and love in return. The world's too cruel for this.]
[ How long has he had these feelings harboring for Noctis? He doesn't know, it only hit him like a truck last night. Perhaps he's always had them, but they've been shoved down, locked away in a key. Not with his royal duties and Noctis' wedding on the horizon. He never did give himself room to think of romantic feelings for himself either. This is the first. He's not sad about it, he's happy that it's with someone that he trusts and cares for.
It shouldn't surprise him really, he and Noctis go way back. They've been through so much together in their lives. He supposes it's only natural for him to feel this way, everything that he's done in the past has been for Noctis. He'd only wanted to see his friend happy.
A pair of arms go around him and he starts a bit out of his thoughts. He wraps his own arms back around Noctis, pulling him into a tight embrace. ]
You have nothing to be sorry for. [ he whispers softly ] You've taught me something here - it's better to be loved than not at all. I'd rather have my heart shattered into pieces than feel nothing.
[ he rests his chin on top of Noctis' head, letting a single tear fall ] It'll take time, but I'll be okay.
It's alright, Noct. [ he doesn't know who he's talking to here, himself or Noctis. ]
[It sure didn't feel alright. It felt wretched, like everything was crumbling all around him the same way Insomnia had fallen around the Citadel. All his dreams of the future and what his life might be like someday, when he was small enough to hope for a good life, every one of them long gone. He'd clung to the replacement dream of a world back in the sun, with a whole population of survivors ready to live the rest of their lives in exchange for his, but now Ignis is making him think about what it might be like if he were allowed to exist in that world, too. If he lived to see the dawn, if he could wake up and find his friends there with him, smiling again like everything hadn't broken apart while he was gone, relieved to be together and safe in a world that was normal. If he could return to the life he'd lived before the fall, with Ignis at his side and Gladio at his back and Prompto ahead dragging him off somewhere fun and away from his responsibilities. Maybe he'd figure out what the hell it meant to be in love with someone.
He can't. He can't, though. It's not okay.]
I love you... never forget that I love you. [It's not okay, but...] I believe you- that you'll get there, someday. So just remember this.
[ Ignis just... squeezes Noctis harder than even before. Needing him in his arms. ]
I won't forget, I promise. [ he takes a steady breath ] I won't forget you either. I promised you that I wouldn't forget you and I intend to keep it. [ How can he when he's in love with the man in his arms? No, he won't forgot Noctis, ever. ]
I love you, so much.
I don't want you die, I don't want you to go. [ he pulls back a little ] But I can't be selfish in that way. [ not when the world hangs in balance, it's not up to him to decide that. ]
We've seen just a small portion of Eos here and it's beautiful, wonderful and amazing. [ He looks up to the night sky - the stars - for a moment before resting his chin back on top of Noctis' head once more. ] The rest of the world needs to see it too.
.... Bring back the dawn and the stars... [ a chocked sob escapes him as he says that, god, it hurts him to say it. But there's nothing else he can do for Noctis right now.
Noctis asked him what it took to be brave, maybe that's why he was brought here too. So he can be brave on letting Noctis go and do the right thing. ]
...Yeah... I will. And then you can see the rest of the world, too.
[He's hoping. Gods, he's hoping, so much. If he can't live to see it, at least let Ignis live and see it. Let him travel, let him live freely, meet new people and share their story, find a new purpose in life, something selfish and fun and indulgent, something fulfilling. No more duties and responsibilities beyond his own life's requirement. It sounds amazing, and he wants Ignis to have it all.
He lifts up, breaking the hug so he can press both hands to Ignis' cheeks, drawing him in for a slow, soft kiss. Nothing passionate or enflamed, but a kiss full of tenderness and longing. It's a kiss to say goodbye, because his heart aches at the idea of saying the words out loud.
For him, this is enough. This is the end. But tomorrow the rest of the world begins, and he wants Ignis to remember him like this. Happy, sad, longing, loving him. Everything Noctis has ever been and was ever meant to be, had life led them on a different path.]
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[Without those memories, would he have the resolve he needs to see it through to the final blow? To survive whatever Ardyn sends his way? Who knows. He's just grateful that at last, he has all the tools he needs to finish the prophecy, fulfill his duty, and save everyone. It's been a long enough road for all of the people waiting on him.
He doesn't want to spare Ardyn any more of his thoughts now, though, so he shrugs it off and takes a bite of the pastry. He closes his eyes immediately, making a soft, appreciative noise. That... that is the one.]
...You did it... you finally did it. It's perfect, Specs.
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Specs, now there's a nickname that he hasn't heard in a long, long time. Feeling pleased with himself though, he glances back at Noctis. ] I seem to recall having a bit of help. [ then he starts eating his own pastry. ]
I... wanted to give it a final go, whether we found the strawberries or not. It's been far too long since I've given it a try.
It's good to hear that it's perfect. [ finally, after all of these years. ]
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[Once the world is thriving again, at least. Once the crops begin to flourish and travel between Lucis and Tenebrae is safe, when he can pick wild ulwaat berries and waste resources on dessert instead of rations.]
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Admittedly, Lestallum wasn't for my sake, it on a blind faith that I could give the pastries another go. I wanted to, for you, Noct. [ he smiles before he looks back to the sky, snatching his Ebony can in his hand and finally takes a sip of it. ]
Ebony became rare after some time, it has been a while.
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[He finally cracks open his can and takes a sip... and grimaces, leaning away from it.]
Oh man... that's strong.
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[ He smirks a little at Noctis' reaction to it. ]
I can take it off your hands if you don't want to finish it.
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[He takes another sip, clinging to his can (with another grimace). It's a challenge now, and he's very stubborn.]
This is one more daemon to overcome.
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[ And he'll just calmly sip at his own Ebony, watching the poor King struggle with his own can. ]
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[Look at him. He's trying to chug it, hating every gulp. This is your king, Ignis. Prophecied hero chosen by the gods.]
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[ He's looking at Noctis alright and he can tell that the poor guy is just torturing himself at this rate. ]
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Come lean on me, Noct. [ He feels bad really, but he won't let Noctis suffer alone like that. ]
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There's literally no sugar in that, is there.
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Indeed there isn't. Why did you push yourself to do it?
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[Not the most helpful answer, but sometimes he is admittedly driven by impulse. It's what leads him to fly headlong into battle without a plan, why his life is so often pure chaos in human form.]
Do you remember why you started playing King's Knight with us?
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... I seem to recall a young prince slowly talking me into it. [ says in a teasing tone ]
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[Looking back, it had taken a while.]
It... meant a lot, that you tried something new for me, even if it wasn't really your thing. Not a lot of people had the time to do that for me.
["Busy" was a word that described almost all of his loved ones, growing up. He didn't begrudge their priorities, considering the stakes, but that didn't make it any less lonely. Something so small as a friend joining him in a game on occasion made a pretty big difference, on a bad day.]
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I always tried to make time for you, Noct. [ have an affection squeeze at the waist there, Noctis. ]
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[After everything they've been through, everything sacrificed, all for the sake of his success, he has no reason to gripe. It was all to get him to where he is now, and it's not a bad place at all, really.]
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... When I first heard your voice in Hammerhead, my heart was split in two. [ he begins slowly, looking to the night sky at first. ] I was happy to hear you, but I wasn't ready for what's to come.
Being here with you has brought me peace and comfort. [ He looks at Noctis now, a small sad smile forming on his face. ] I'm not fully ready, but I'm ready as I can be.
[ It'll hurt, Noctis' death. He knows that no amount of prep can ever prepare for him it. ]
... I'm in love with you, Noctis. [ he knows that nothing can come out of it, but he doesn't want to live with regrets at all. He's happy and free for the first time in his life, he thinks. ]
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Noctis doesn't answer for a bit. He'd been hoping, really, really hoping, that this romantic love that Ignis was exploring with him could be something fleeting, a soft extra bit of memories for him to carry into the dawn, maybe to give him the comfort and experience he'd need to move on. Ignis loving him is wonderful, a voiced truth he's always known. It's very different from Ignis being in love with him. It was the difference between Gladio's long line of girlfriends and his father subtly still grieving and unmarried 20 years after his wife died following Noct's birth. It... makes him worry. That isn't the life he wants for Ignis, so he hopes that it won't be as all-consuming as that. Even if he never finds love again, let his life at least be fulfilling without it.
He doesn't know what to say, but he needs to say something, so after the silence reigns for almost too long he inhales a shaken breath and presses himself closer against Ignis' side, arms sliding around him to hold him tightly, murmuring into his shoulder,]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Iggy... I'm so sorry...
[Gods, but he wishes he could stay. He wants to stay, and be loved, and love in return. The world's too cruel for this.]
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It shouldn't surprise him really, he and Noctis go way back. They've been through so much together in their lives. He supposes it's only natural for him to feel this way, everything that he's done in the past has been for Noctis. He'd only wanted to see his friend happy.
A pair of arms go around him and he starts a bit out of his thoughts. He wraps his own arms back around Noctis, pulling him into a tight embrace. ]
You have nothing to be sorry for. [ he whispers softly ] You've taught me something here - it's better to be loved than not at all. I'd rather have my heart shattered into pieces than feel nothing.
[ he rests his chin on top of Noctis' head, letting a single tear fall ] It'll take time, but I'll be okay.
It's alright, Noct. [ he doesn't know who he's talking to here, himself or Noctis. ]
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He can't. He can't, though. It's not okay.]
I love you... never forget that I love you. [It's not okay, but...] I believe you- that you'll get there, someday. So just remember this.
[Remember me.]
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I won't forget, I promise. [ he takes a steady breath ] I won't forget you either. I promised you that I wouldn't forget you and I intend to keep it. [ How can he when he's in love with the man in his arms? No, he won't forgot Noctis, ever. ]
I love you, so much.
I don't want you die, I don't want you to go. [ he pulls back a little ] But I can't be selfish in that way. [ not when the world hangs in balance, it's not up to him to decide that. ]
We've seen just a small portion of Eos here and it's beautiful, wonderful and amazing. [ He looks up to the night sky - the stars - for a moment before resting his chin back on top of Noctis' head once more. ] The rest of the world needs to see it too.
.... Bring back the dawn and the stars... [ a chocked sob escapes him as he says that, god, it hurts him to say it. But there's nothing else he can do for Noctis right now.
Noctis asked him what it took to be brave, maybe that's why he was brought here too. So he can be brave on letting Noctis go and do the right thing. ]
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[He's hoping. Gods, he's hoping, so much. If he can't live to see it, at least let Ignis live and see it. Let him travel, let him live freely, meet new people and share their story, find a new purpose in life, something selfish and fun and indulgent, something fulfilling. No more duties and responsibilities beyond his own life's requirement. It sounds amazing, and he wants Ignis to have it all.
He lifts up, breaking the hug so he can press both hands to Ignis' cheeks, drawing him in for a slow, soft kiss. Nothing passionate or enflamed, but a kiss full of tenderness and longing. It's a kiss to say goodbye, because his heart aches at the idea of saying the words out loud.
For him, this is enough. This is the end. But tomorrow the rest of the world begins, and he wants Ignis to remember him like this. Happy, sad, longing, loving him. Everything Noctis has ever been and was ever meant to be, had life led them on a different path.]
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