[Are people allowed to hug Messengers...? Is that not a taboo or something? The question brings to mind a brief, flickering thought: the arms of a child wrapped around a dark-furred dog, hugging tightly and crying into its neck, in pain and mourning the loss of a friend.
[ He shifts closer to shut the distance between them and gets his arms wrapped around Noctis, pulling him into a familiar embrace. One that's loving, gentle and caring. One hand idly rubs at Noct's back.
A tear slips down Ignis' cheek, his hands shaking a bit. Gods, it's been five years since he's felt Noctis in his arms like this. Five long, dark years.
He's happy though, safe and warm. But more than that, he's home. Home is where the heart is and he knows all too well where his heart lies. It's still with Noctis. Always Noctis. ]
You saved my life, Noct and I like to help you in return. You sounded like your old self a minute ago. [ there's hope in Ignis, hope that he can get Noctis' memories back. ] Do you trust me?
[The embrace is warm and familiar, and it makes his heart ache all over again, an echo of I know this bouncing around in his head like a reverberating drum. He's felt this before, he knows it immediately. Ignis has held him in the past.
Tentatively his arms rise up and hold the man back, fingers curling in his shirt. This... feels right. It's where he belongs. His mind doesn't remember yet, but his heart does.]
I... trust you, Iggy.
[How could he not? Even the words themselves feel right as they leave his lips, as if there'd be no reason in the world to not trust this man.]
[ He lets the relief that he feels flood through him. He needed to be sure, there was no doubt, but with Noctis' memories being messed up as they are...
He tightens his grip a little, letting himself enjoy the moment. It wasn't until he had Noctis in his arms that it hit him hard that yes, this is real. Noctis is real. He's alive and well somehow, but Ignis isn't going to question it.
He keeps quiet as he struggles to keep his emotions in check, he doesn't want to break down. Not until he's been able to help Noctis. The other man needs him just as much as he needed Noct.
He pulls back after a bit and puts his forehead against Noctis', praying that this too, sparks something in the other man. ]
[This, too, feels like something he's experienced before, and for a long moment he just sits quietly like that, eyes closed, drinking in the presence of the other man and chasing that feeling. The thoughts creep up on him slowly, visions (memories?), or like a dream that he thinks might be real but can't know for certain until he asks. Fleeting ideas, like a lightbulb about to burn out, flickering on, off. On, off. On, off.
His voice is faint as he speaks up again, wary of saying the wrong thing, of being wrong, of hurting this man who wants him to remember so badly.]
Ignis... you've... always been there, haven't you? Always with me. I can't keep it all in my head, but I can see you with me, every time I looked over, in my memories...
[He doesn't like to make promises that he can't guarantee, but... hesitantly he opens his eyes to watch Ignis, tilting his head subtly into the hand on his cheek.]
I... think so. Just- you look different.
[His own hand lifts to trace softly just under the scar over Ignis' eye, examining the shape of his face.]
[Noctis thinks for a long moment, trying to grab onto the tail of at least one memory and rein it in, so the flashes of thought can become more detailed, so faces can become voices can become words can become conversation.
What did he see?]
...We were... cooking. It was quiet, and warm... your hands were on mine. Pastry, and... strawberries. [His eyes close again.] Lestallum...
[Noctis takes a little longer for this one, because the origin of that memory is of a place that hurts to think about, now. Being there had hurt him. Blades and burning lights and dying, he was dying, he was dead. He is dead.
He blinks rapidly, his breath picking up speed, but he manages to say,]
[For the first time, Noctis doesn't hesitate. His tone is musing, almost wistful.]
You said you loved me.
[That memory feels... nice. A blanket of comfort to quietly smother the horror of what it meant to return home. They both knew he was going to be gone soon, but Ignis loved him even so. It was... humbling. And still is, despite his unexpected return.]
[ Ignis says nothing, but the confirmation is in his eyes, gaze locking onto Noctis'.
He shifts a little, taking both of Noctis' hands in his own and sets them on Ignis' cheeks. He lets his own hands drop. This should be a familiar sight, when Noctis had kissed him. ]
[Noctis is puzzled for a bit, keeping his hands there and gazing into Ignis' eyes. He's worried at first. Only one of his hands is... safe, and the other he'd rather not risk touching what's important to him that much. He doesn't want to watch Ignis burn.
(it would be ironic. a part of him is unpleasantly reminded of the language of the ancient world woven into his mind from years of forgotten education and the power of the gods flowing through his veins. ignis, the man of fire, burning. but let it not be by his own hand.)
The longer he holds that gaze, the more he recognizes the signs of what is being asked of him: their closeness, the way he can feel Ignis' breath between them, dusting against his skin. The soft press of every fingertip against Ignis' face. The curve of his lips.
...He remembers...
...leaning in, capturing those lips with his own. Kissing him, soft and sweet and longing. A kiss to say goodbye. He remembers doing all of this.
It's how he knows to repeat the gesture, right here and now.]
[ He shuts his eyes when Noctis kisses him, following his lead here. Arms go back around Noctis, pulling him closer to Ignis.
Gods, he's missed this. The closeness that they shared and he hopes and prays that this kiss helps Noctis recall it too. A tear leaks off his face, body trembling a bit.
He lets his love and care pour out into this kiss, the pain and sorrow that he went through the past five years leak through.
I missed you.
He pulls back a bit, murmuring softly. ] I'm still in love with you, Noct. [ before he captures Noctis' lips on his own once more, letting it last as long as Noctis need it to. ]
[Still in love. Noctis shivers against Ignis, able to feel it through the kiss. He has no memory of kissing anyone else, but would a platonic or heartless kiss feel like this? Needy, urgent, hopeful... the kiss of a man who's been left waiting, wanting. Five years, Ignis had said. And he'd been gone for longer, before then. It hurts to know he's been the cause of so much pain.
"I love you.
Just remember this."
And he remembers too, like a wall crumbling down around him: the soft fur of Carbuncle beneath his fingertips, walking hand in hand with Ignis across Eos, laughing as they fell from the Disc together, tasting strawberries, making pastries, watching the stars. Crying together, falling asleep in one another's arms. Finding his resolve, and making peace with what was to come despite knowing he's loved, and loving in return.
He remembers loving this world and the people who lived in it enough to die for them.
Dying, dying.
Kissing this man, to say goodbye.
As he draws back, half-gasping not for air but from the shock of it all, he exhales a weak, sobbing laugh, his thumb brushing away the tear on Ignis' face.]
This one... means hello.
[He's back. He's back, and while he doesn't know why, and he doesn't know for how long, and he doesn't know what he is anymore, he's back.]
[ When Noctis draws back from the kiss, Ignis watches, hopeful, praying in his heart. The weak sobbing laugh that he hears out of Noctis has his heart skipping a beat.
This one... means hello.
The last kiss they shared was a goodbye one. This one, it's a reunion and he can't but let out a tired sobbing laugh himself.
Noctis remembers. He remembers. A wave of relief rushes through his body. He's hugging onto Noctis even tighter now, though not breaking his eyes off Noctis' own. ]
I missed you. I missed you so much. [ A lump forms in his throat as fresh tears roll down his cheeks. He will not cry, not now, not now... His body wants to give in, he's trembling, shaking...
[He won't leave Ignis waiting for the answer this time. He's waited long enough already.]
I don't remember everything, but I remember you. I remember the dream we shared, and who you are...
[Awakening immediately with no memories, he hadn't felt bad about it. He'd been fine with fulfilling his mission, helping people, and moving on. All of that had changed the moment he'd laid eyes on Ignis. Since then he'd started to remember, and it only made him hungry for more. Now that he remembers this much, he wants to remember everything. About Ignis, about the life he had before. About what he's done, so he knows what he should do going forward.
It feels... exciting. He didn't know that life would be like this.]
[ It's nice to hear, to be remembered by the person who he loves. He exhales a shaky breath, wanting to say so many things here, but he can't find his voice.
His gaze drops and he moves to bury his face against Noctis' shoulder, his own shoulders shaking, fingers curling against Noct's back. He been fighting hard against his own feelings, the need to break apart. He'd been fighting against it since he heard Noctis' voice for the first time in five years...
With a mumbled apology, he breaks apart. Sobs wrack his body, just as he did five years ago. This time, he's letting out the pain he felt from losing Noctis, from letting him go like that. Even though he doesn't understand how Noct's back, he's thankful that he is.
The relief keeps washing over his body as he keeps telling himself that Noctis is here, he's real. Noctis isn't a fragment of his imagination.
He's real.
Noctis is real.
The pain of losing him twice is far too great for Ignis to think about, he can't stand the thought of losing him again. Not again, he won't, he refuses to this time. Now that he's back, he plans on keeping Noctis by his side for as long as he can.
[Noctis doesn't push him back or fight it; he allows himself to be held so tightly, arms sliding around Ignis to hold him back, practically clinging. He doesn't want to lose this again, either. He'd done his duty, whatever that was, he'd followed the instructions of the gods and met his end. He shouldn't be here now, but he is. Ignis cries for the both of them, as Noctis can't find the grief in his own heart yet; he's lost too many memories. What he feels instead is joy, triumph. He'd died, and come back, and now he's home again at last. It had taken years, but they'd found one another again. It's nothing short of a miracle.
They'll have to drag him kicking and screaming if they want him to go back to the oblivion that Ignis had pulled him from. Right now, he wants to stay here, more than anything.]
[ It takes some time for Ignis to calm down, breathing returning to normal, the shaking lessening up. He can feel Noctis clinging to him too and he holds him tighter in response.
He takes his time calming himself down, it helps that Noctis is hugging him hard.
After a time, he finally finds his voice to speak ] ... Noct [ It's just his name, but it holds a great deal of gratitude for letting Ignis break like that. ]
You're here... [ Ignis lifts his head up to look into Noctis' eyes once more. Stray tears still roll down his face.
There had been a gaping hole in Ignis' heart all of these years, it's slowly being filed up again. Though fulfilled in other areas in his life with Noctis' passing, he wasn't truly happy. Something was always missing and that something - someone - was Noctis.
He rubs at Noctis' back idly. ] I'm alright... [ he feels better after letting all of that out. He manages a smile, for Noctis. ]
[He tugs back, reluctant but worried, enough so he can see Ignis' face again and brush a hand over his cheek- the healing hand, finding bruises and scrapes from the mishandling he'd received before Noct arrived. He'd mended the more severe injuries, but is he really okay? They're still sitting here in a shack with a dead man and Ignis' blood all around them. He looks thin, and exhausted.]
We should get somewhere safe... you need to eat, and rest. How long have you been here? Are you hurting anywhere else?
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[Are people allowed to hug Messengers...? Is that not a taboo or something? The question brings to mind a brief, flickering thought: the arms of a child wrapped around a dark-furred dog, hugging tightly and crying into its neck, in pain and mourning the loss of a friend.
Umbra...
He shifts a little closer, and spreads his arms.]
I'll let you.
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A tear slips down Ignis' cheek, his hands shaking a bit. Gods, it's been five years since he's felt Noctis in his arms like this. Five long, dark years.
He's happy though, safe and warm. But more than that, he's home. Home is where the heart is and he knows all too well where his heart lies. It's still with Noctis. Always Noctis. ]
You saved my life, Noct and I like to help you in return. You sounded like your old self a minute ago. [ there's hope in Ignis, hope that he can get Noctis' memories back. ] Do you trust me?
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Tentatively his arms rise up and hold the man back, fingers curling in his shirt. This... feels right. It's where he belongs. His mind doesn't remember yet, but his heart does.]
I... trust you, Iggy.
[How could he not? Even the words themselves feel right as they leave his lips, as if there'd be no reason in the world to not trust this man.]
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He tightens his grip a little, letting himself enjoy the moment. It wasn't until he had Noctis in his arms that it hit him hard that yes, this is real. Noctis is real. He's alive and well somehow, but Ignis isn't going to question it.
He keeps quiet as he struggles to keep his emotions in check, he doesn't want to break down. Not until he's been able to help Noctis. The other man needs him just as much as he needed Noct.
He pulls back after a bit and puts his forehead against Noctis', praying that this too, sparks something in the other man. ]
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His voice is faint as he speaks up again, wary of saying the wrong thing, of being wrong, of hurting this man who wants him to remember so badly.]
Ignis... you've... always been there, haven't you? Always with me. I can't keep it all in my head, but I can see you with me, every time I looked over, in my memories...
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I have, we've been through quite the bit together.
[ Remember me.
He pulls his head back a bit this time and he cups Noctis' cheek in his hand. ]
You're starting to remember, aren't you?
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I... think so. Just- you look different.
[His own hand lifts to trace softly just under the scar over Ignis' eye, examining the shape of his face.]
You've changed, but I remember your face.
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Five years will do that, [ he says softly. ] you've changed too, but I knew it was you by the sound of your voice.
[ Progress and he aims to keep at it. ]
What did you see?
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What did he see?]
...We were... cooking. It was quiet, and warm... your hands were on mine. Pastry, and... strawberries. [His eyes close again.] Lestallum...
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That's right. [ he searches Noctis' face, giving him an encouraging smile ] The strawberries were the missing ingredient for the pastries.
You brought me something... [ he lets it hang, to see if Noct can recall the Ebony on his own. ]
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Coffee. It was gross.
[Ah. Hang on.]
I don't like coffee. I remember that, too.
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You drank half of can of it. [ He still doesn't understand why Noctis did that other than it's Noct. ]
We took the pastries somewhere. [ Again, he'll let Noctis fill that on in. ]
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He blinks rapidly, his breath picking up speed, but he manages to say,]
Home. We went home.
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We went there to stargaze.
I... [ he hesitates a moment ] told you something. [ that he's in love with Noctis. ]
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You said you loved me.
[That memory feels... nice. A blanket of comfort to quietly smother the horror of what it meant to return home. They both knew he was going to be gone soon, but Ignis loved him even so. It was... humbling. And still is, despite his unexpected return.]
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He shifts a little, taking both of Noctis' hands in his own and sets them on Ignis' cheeks. He lets his own hands drop. This should be a familiar sight, when Noctis had kissed him. ]
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(it would be ironic. a part of him is unpleasantly reminded of the language of the ancient world woven into his mind from years of forgotten education and the power of the gods flowing through his veins. ignis, the man of fire, burning. but let it not be by his own hand.)
The longer he holds that gaze, the more he recognizes the signs of what is being asked of him: their closeness, the way he can feel Ignis' breath between them, dusting against his skin. The soft press of every fingertip against Ignis' face. The curve of his lips.
...He remembers...
...leaning in, capturing those lips with his own. Kissing him, soft and sweet and longing. A kiss to say goodbye. He remembers doing all of this.
It's how he knows to repeat the gesture, right here and now.]
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Gods, he's missed this. The closeness that they shared and he hopes and prays that this kiss helps Noctis recall it too. A tear leaks off his face, body trembling a bit.
He lets his love and care pour out into this kiss, the pain and sorrow that he went through the past five years leak through.
I missed you.
He pulls back a bit, murmuring softly. ] I'm still in love with you, Noct. [ before he captures Noctis' lips on his own once more, letting it last as long as Noctis need it to. ]
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"I love you.
Just remember this."
And he remembers too, like a wall crumbling down around him: the soft fur of Carbuncle beneath his fingertips, walking hand in hand with Ignis across Eos, laughing as they fell from the Disc together, tasting strawberries, making pastries, watching the stars. Crying together, falling asleep in one another's arms. Finding his resolve, and making peace with what was to come despite knowing he's loved, and loving in return.
He remembers loving this world and the people who lived in it enough to die for them.
Dying, dying.
Kissing this man, to say goodbye.
As he draws back, half-gasping not for air but from the shock of it all, he exhales a weak, sobbing laugh, his thumb brushing away the tear on Ignis' face.]
This one... means hello.
[He's back. He's back, and while he doesn't know why, and he doesn't know for how long, and he doesn't know what he is anymore, he's back.]
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This one... means hello.
The last kiss they shared was a goodbye one. This one, it's a reunion and he can't but let out a tired sobbing laugh himself.
Noctis remembers. He remembers. A wave of relief rushes through his body. He's hugging onto Noctis even tighter now, though not breaking his eyes off Noctis' own. ]
... Noct. [ he's taking steady breaths ] Y-you remember...
I missed you. I missed you so much. [ A lump forms in his throat as fresh tears roll down his cheeks. He will not cry, not now, not now... His body wants to give in, he's trembling, shaking...
but he needs to hear that Noctis remembers him. ]
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[He won't leave Ignis waiting for the answer this time. He's waited long enough already.]
I don't remember everything, but I remember you. I remember the dream we shared, and who you are...
[Awakening immediately with no memories, he hadn't felt bad about it. He'd been fine with fulfilling his mission, helping people, and moving on. All of that had changed the moment he'd laid eyes on Ignis. Since then he'd started to remember, and it only made him hungry for more. Now that he remembers this much, he wants to remember everything. About Ignis, about the life he had before. About what he's done, so he knows what he should do going forward.
It feels... exciting. He didn't know that life would be like this.]
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His gaze drops and he moves to bury his face against Noctis' shoulder, his own shoulders shaking, fingers curling against Noct's back. He been fighting hard against his own feelings, the need to break apart. He'd been fighting against it since he heard Noctis' voice for the first time in five years...
With a mumbled apology, he breaks apart. Sobs wrack his body, just as he did five years ago. This time, he's letting out the pain he felt from losing Noctis, from letting him go like that. Even though he doesn't understand how Noct's back, he's thankful that he is.
The relief keeps washing over his body as he keeps telling himself that Noctis is here, he's real. Noctis isn't a fragment of his imagination.
He's real.
Noctis is real.
The pain of losing him twice is far too great for Ignis to think about, he can't stand the thought of losing him again. Not again, he won't, he refuses to this time. Now that he's back, he plans on keeping Noctis by his side for as long as he can.
Don't leave me... ]
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They'll have to drag him kicking and screaming if they want him to go back to the oblivion that Ignis had pulled him from. Right now, he wants to stay here, more than anything.]
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He takes his time calming himself down, it helps that Noctis is hugging him hard.
After a time, he finally finds his voice to speak ] ... Noct [ It's just his name, but it holds a great deal of gratitude for letting Ignis break like that. ]
You're here... [ Ignis lifts his head up to look into Noctis' eyes once more. Stray tears still roll down his face.
There had been a gaping hole in Ignis' heart all of these years, it's slowly being filed up again. Though fulfilled in other areas in his life with Noctis' passing, he wasn't truly happy. Something was always missing and that something - someone - was Noctis.
He rubs at Noctis' back idly. ] I'm alright... [ he feels better after letting all of that out. He manages a smile, for Noctis. ]
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[He tugs back, reluctant but worried, enough so he can see Ignis' face again and brush a hand over his cheek- the healing hand, finding bruises and scrapes from the mishandling he'd received before Noct arrived. He'd mended the more severe injuries, but is he really okay? They're still sitting here in a shack with a dead man and Ignis' blood all around them. He looks thin, and exhausted.]
We should get somewhere safe... you need to eat, and rest. How long have you been here? Are you hurting anywhere else?
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/new account hype
eyyyy
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