[ He can tell that he did good here, just watching Noct taking in the view. Ignis lets their joined hands go and winds his arm around Noct's waist, quietly taking in the view himself. ]
Indeed, we went there in our shared dream. [ Which is why he had picked this spot, both the meteor and Lestallum are well within their sights, they had visited both places in their shared dream. ]
I, uh, thought it would be special for us to have a beautiful view like this, since we seen it in our shared dream. [ He's feeling kind of shy ] You did call this a date. [ smiling softly now. ]
[That sudden influx of shyness is kind of sweet, actually. Noctis might have felt it himself if he carried all his memories with him, if he recalled all the years of feeling that weight of societal expectations on his back. There's something incredibly liberating about forgetting one's past. Less to lose, so why hide what he's feeling?
He tucks himself in closer to Ignis, leaning on his shoulder as he drinks in the view.]
You made the right call. This place is great.
[It almost makes him want to stay longer than a few days, though he knows they shouldn't. It's better to keep moving, safer that way. Still... he'd really like it here.]
It's a date then. [ said with a smile in his tone.
They deserve this, not just from the past couple of days, but years lost, years that Noctis may or may not remember, that'll be up to where they go and what he recalls. Ignis is more than happy to keep creating happy memories like this.
He's quiet while they take in the view, just enjoying the company and blocking out his own worries for now.
The smell of their food does hit his nose after a while. ]
[Noctis nods, hesitating a moment - still getting a feel for what he should or shouldn't do, finding the groove for his own existence - then leans up to softly kiss Ignis' cheek before tugging him back towards the table. Something's tickling at his memory, alluding to what might have happened here or what might come next, and right now he'd rather enjoy dinner - his date - with Ignis first.]
Yeah, I'm starving. We can enjoy the view while we eat.
[ He doesn't need that much prompting to go sit at the table with Noctis, side by side. Ignis pauses for a second, pushing aside his food bowl for a moment. He reaches into his pocket, feeling the discovery that he'd made when they'd gotten here, he'd missed it before while digging through the car. Prompto must have put them in after discovering who saved Ignis. ]
I have something to show you.
[ He sets two photos down, the first one of them where they are right now in Lestallum, at the outlook actually, from fifteen years ago. The second one from five years ago, shortly after the attack on Ignis, they had been cuddling near the campfire, Prompto was sneaky about getting that one in. ]
I found them in the car after we got here, Prompto must have left them there for us to find.
[ Ignis finally returns the kiss onto Noctis' cheek before he pulls back, allowing Noct to study the photos as he moves his food bowl closer to himself, stirring it up a bit. ]
[Noctis accepts the photos with a quiet exhale of surprise, spreading them out side by side in front of himself. The second one he recognizes, having regained that memory already, feeling a mixture of fondness and regret for the gentle warmth conveyed by it and the grief he carries for years they've lost, both before and after it was taken. The first, though...
He recognizes the location, four men posing together with the sun shining down on them and the Disc gleaming brightly at their backs. Ignis, Gladio, Prompto. And... a face he knows by instinct alone, but can't remember. His fingers trail just below it, brows lifting.]
That's... me?
[Gods, but they all look so young. Smiling and astonishingly carefree. How could that possibly be the man he used to be?]
[ Ignis had been surprised to see that particular photo of all them together, looking so young like that. It was a long time ago. ]
Indeed, it is you, from fifteen years ago.
[ He can't place when it was taken since they were in and out of Lestallum quite the bit. He still stirs his food quietly, taking in Noctis' reaction to it.
It makes sense really, if Noct only sees himself now that he can't recall what he looks like from those years ago. ]
[Noctis studies it for a long moment, his expression shifting between a mixture of emotions as the seconds pass; longing, worry, curiosity. He lifts a hand to rub idly at his chin. No beard, huh...]
We must've really loved it out here.
[They all look happy, smiling and carefree. Now and in the memories he's regained so far, a lot of the smiles in his direction have been laced with some kind of quiet, subtle pain. Which makes sense, admittedly. He'd been dead or about to die.]
...Do you think, after we've got everything sorted out, we could do it again? Just the four of us.
[He's a little afraid of going back, admittedly- regaining his memories and returning to Insomnia. What if people expect him to become king now that he's back, what if people - any people - expect him to be some kind of leader? He's fifteen years gone, he knows nothing about ruling. He has a feeling, looking at his younger self, that he for the most part barely did to begin with even when he remembered it all. No good king would look that happy to have lost his kingdom and forced to live incognito. That's not even getting into the fact that he's not exactly a normal person anymore.
Putting it off for another trip around the country- wouldn't that be nice. Running away from responsibilities perhaps, but... haven't they done enough already?]
[ Ignis looks up, surprised by the suggestion. They're on this trip together to regain Noctis' memories back and he knows that Noct is afraid of going back to Insomnia, he'd seen the fear in his eyes and the hesitation back in the shack when he was talking them through their shared dream. ]
That might be a little more difficult, [ he says, sadly, understanding Noctis wanting to relive those memories. ] Prompto's doing well for himself with his photos and Gladio trains people for the Crownsguard. [ Noct's already seen Prompto, but Gladio still needs to see Noctis for his own eyes. He's a little worried about Gladio not being as accepting as Prompto was to the idea of Noct being alive. ]
I wouldn't be opposed to the suggestion, but they got their own lives to live now.
[ Five years had gone by and each of them had settled into their roles nicely. Ignis had trained people to take over for him in case of an emergency came up, which it did. He's always been prepared for stuff like this. ]
I'm on this trip to help you and I want to be with you. [ Giving a small smile and reaching out to take one of Noctis' hands, lacing their fingers together. ] You wouldn't have to talk me into going on another one with you again.
[He tries to smile at the encouragement Ignis attempts at his closing offer, but Noctis finds it difficult not to feel disappointed. Of course they'd have found lives for themselves... he'd wanted that for them, hadn't he? And he can't expect them to up and bail on everything they've built just to tour around on a whim. They've managed without him for fifteen years already. All he's doing is clinging to what feels the most familiar, reaching for an old life long gone and forgotten.
Maybe he shouldn't try to get his memories back. Maybe he should just be forgotten by everyone, the way he's forgotten them. He could just be fooling himself, and Ignis is the only one who'll be happy to have him back.]
Right... of course. I was just thinking out loud, nevermind.
[He doesn't pull away from Ignis' hand, but he doesn't quite squeeze back, either. He slides the photos back towards Ignis and reaches for his fork to focus on his food instead.]
[ Well, crap. He hadn't meant to make Noctis feel bad at all, he needs to fix this now. He likes to see Noctis' smile and he'd like to get that to return, even if it takes a bit here.
Ignis withdraws his hand and turns his body so that he can pull Noctis into a hug, cradling him against his chest. ]
You'd be proud of them, Noct. [ After he's gotten more memories that is, of the four. ]
Perhaps that wasn't the best photo to show you since our journey was never easy. [ Ardyn, Altissia, Noct's headaches, the crystal, among other things. Things that Ignis knows that will be hard on Noctis once he recalls those things.
He exhales a breath. ] They had to move on, Noct, they couldn't keep grieving. [ Yet, Ignis truly never stopped grieving himself. Death, by natural causes, was his way to see Noct again. At least he hoped that there was an afterlife but there's no need for that now.
He glances at the second photo of them at the final campsite for a second. ] You recall our final night together, I made some important promises to you. I kept them to you, to the best of my abilities. [ To live for himself, for them, to never forget Noctis, to not go out by suicidal means (which was far, far from his mind, no matter how much he missed Noctis) and one more that he's kept for himself too. ]
Admittedly, I buried myself in my work, I tried to move on myself, but no one could come close to you. No one could fill the gaping hole in my heart, I love you so much, Noctis.
[ A split second while he considers here, it's time to tell Noctis his own promise. ]
Every year, on the day we shared the final night together, I spent the night at that campsite to keep you in my memory, to recall that night and us. It was my way to honor you and what we shared together.
[ His own heart hurts too, as he thinks back on things. ]
The people, they honor you too, with a celebration of sorts. I approved of it when approached with the idea, to them, it was a celebration of the first sign of the dawn breaking for the first time in ten years. To me, it was a harsh reminder of what I lost that day.
[ He shuts his eyes and buries his face on top of Noctis' head, squeezing him tighter. Ignis says nothing more, comforting both himself and Noctis. They need it, date or not. ]
[He'd never wanted them to grieve forever. He hadn't wanted his memory to hold them back, either. It's good that they... moved on. Found lives without him, ways of fulfilling themselves, following their dreams. He'd just... he'd thought, maybe... but no.
He doesn't really want to be honoured, or celebrated, or remembered the way the people do, either. Not for dying, or for losing everything. Even for bringing back the sun they're enjoying here and now. All he wants is the friends he'd had, feeling the love he'd carried for them more than he remembers it. But maybe after this long, they won't want him anymore. His existence represents a weight on their shoulders and a duty to protect that they've managed to leave behind.
It isn't so terrible, really. He's happy for them. He'll- try to be happy for them, though it might take some time. But maybe he won't try too hard to regain more memories of them or their journey until he gets used to the idea. His life has started anew- he doesn't want to begin it feeling regret for coming back like this. He's already wondering how much time he has and would rather not see it spoiled.
Well... he should be used to not getting what he wants, if the flickers of old memories ring true. At least he has Ignis, though. He's always had Ignis.
Quietly he clings back, tucked in against Ignis' body, and allows himself to be shielded this way for a bit. It's enough... yeah, it's enough to not be alone anymore. He's loved, and there's happiness to be found in that.]
[ For a long moment, Ignis says nothing to that, just clings to Noctis tighter. He's forever grateful that they're getting this second chance, but he knows how rough it must be on Noctis to not remember much. He's more than happy to keep Noctis shielded away from the world for a while, keeping him tucked into his chest like this.
He's always been the protector of the pair, though the roles have been reserved within the past few days, he easily slides back into this role. He just hopes that he doesn't have to pay him back, if he does get into trouble.
They're on a date, but if they need to talk about things for a bit, Ignis doesn't mind. ]
No need to apologize, [ he murmurs quietly ] you did what you had to do. [ It took Ignis a long time to accept it, not until their shared dream, he wasn't happy about it at the end of things though, even if it was the right thing to do. It hurt and stung like crazy, but Noctis is here now, alive and breathing. ]
[Noctis doesn't move, but a little bit of the tension bleeds out of him, enjoying the calm comfort of being held this way.]
I feel like... I've been here before. Not here here, but- this place in my life. Out on a journey, running from our enemies, never enough answers to know for certain where things are going to end. I don't remember it all, but I know this feeling. [His fingers curl in the fabric of Ignis' shirt.] I- I worry. About that part of it. Last time it didn't end so good.
[He's here for now, yes. But without all the answers, he's scared of future expectations. And that's assuming they live- they've had several close calls already.]
[ It's true, things hadn't ended so good for them at all. Noctis had gotten snatched by the crystal for a good ten years, then he died for the world. His story didn't end on a happy one, but perhaps they can change that now, even with them being on the run.
He takes a moment as he holds Noctis close to him, keeping him cradle against his chest. ]
We knew who our enemies were last time around, [ it had made hiding so much simpler and they could run if they were spotted. Always careful out on the road too, never leaving anything to chance. But now? They have no idea who to look out for and that makes it a little more terrifying in and out itself. ]
... we'll be okay. You know I won't let anything bad happen to you. [ Not again, or ever. He'll make sure of that. ]
[Ignis has been so protective of him, despite his life being the most at risk. And while he appreciates being loved that way, he doesn't want the other to take too many risks for his sake. Ignis not letting anything bad happen to him could mean unintentionally letting something bad happen to himself.]
I don't want anything to happen to you, either. You're... Iggy, you're literally all I have.
[If the others have moved on with their lives, he won't begrudge them that. He'd wanted it for them, he knows. He's sure of it. But he doesn't want to go back to the nothing he'd been before awakening to save Ignis from that first man who'd abducted him. Just a Messenger, empty and waiting for a mission. He doesn't want to lose this feeling, or the person who helped him remember it. It would break him, and Ignis deserves better.]
I know you don't. You've.... had my back since you first saved me.
[ Ignis wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Noctis rescuing him from the shack near Hammerhead.
Outside of a few people that he can think of; Dave, Cindy, Cid... Noctis is all that he has too. He needs Gladio and Prompto to stay back home to keep an eye on things. If they became a four person group again, it'll be more protection, sure, but they might stand out more. That's what worries Ignis.
He hates that they have to watch their backs, but there's not much that they can do right now. Which is why they have to enjoy whatever quiet moments they can like this, together. ]
I did promise to stick closer to you, Noct. [ He gently nudges Noct to get him to look at him, letting him see Ignis' smile. ] I know we're both afraid for one anothers safety right now [ Ignis is in the most danger here, but he still can't help but worry about Noctis now. That's twice that Noctis has saved his life, the terrorists have got to be worried. ] but we're as safe as we can be, right here and now. Safe in each other's embrace like this.
[Noctis makes an agreeable noise at that, briefly burying his face against Ignis' neck and closing his eyes. It is nice here, and though he knows they can't stay long - probably couldn't even if they had the budget for the Leville - there is a comforting safety to be found in numbers. Surrounded by strangers, yes, so anyone could strike anywhere... but not everyone can be a terrorist, and it would be foolhardy to attack in broad daylight with so many witnesses. Easy for them to hide in a crowd, too. Still, much like Insomnia, big cities won't stay safe for long.
No, what's safest is for them to catch their pursuers, and they can't do that in hiding. For now, though, they have this.]
I like it here, [he mumbles.] With you, where it's safe.
[He feels like, at least for tonight, they can relax and ease off the paranoia. Just for a little while.]
[ Ignis makes a small noise at that, agreeing quietly. He's safe and home in Noctis' arms like this, there's nowhere else he'd rather be.
After a couple of minutes of quiet between the two, he gives Noct a squeeze in his arms before mumbling: ] Food's getting cold, did you want to take it on the walk?
[ He's not going to mind either way. But he hadn't expected Noctis' reaction to the photo. ]
Whatever you don't recall, I can tell you stories about it, if you like? [ If Noctis doesn't get all of his memories back, then Ignis can pick up the pieces for him. Help him slide in the puzzle pieces of himself. ]
Mm... whatever's good for you. I just- I want to stay by your side.
[He can eat fast, if they want to walk. Or they can sit here, close and enjoying one another's company. Until told otherwise, he... doesn't really have a life outside of Ignis right now. He's not sure if he ever will again. In truth he's afraid to look ahead that far.
The past is frightening for different reasons, but not as scary as the true unknown, so after a moment he nods.]
I like the sound of that. Hearing stories. Maybe it'll remind me of something.
[ Whatever is good for him? What's good for both of them is to stick close to each other's sides. Ignis tugs Noctis back in and shuts his eyes, giving him a soft and quick kiss. ]
I merely wish to stay by your side too.
[ Ignis knows the story that he'll want to tell as well, it can begin when they get back to the hotel tonight. For now, he draws back a bit, and pokes at the food with his finger a bit. It had gotten a bit on the cold side, but no matter. He is a cook after all and can very easily warm it up for the both of them. ]
Let's take this to go and enjoy ourselves on a walk. [ He rises up from his seat, carefully untangling himself from Noctis and reaches for his hand to pull him up. Ignis uses his free hand to grab at his dish, bagging it.
It's not quite how the first part of this date would play out in his mind, but he doesn't care, just as long as he has Noctis by his side. ]
[It's a quiet but content walk around the overlook, Ignis filling him in on some noteworthy differences, tidbits of what Lestallum is like back in the light, nothing important but enough to satisfy some of Noct's curiosity and cheer him up a little. Ignis has always been good at that.
Afterwards it's a short distance back to the hotel, where the food is set to re-heat, and Noctis disassembles the mask he'd acquired for being out in public: contacts out, gloves and jacket off. For better or worse, he is himself again, and at least with Ignis there's no need to hide. The inhuman changes that were the cost of his revival are accepted without hesitation, and he's grateful for that.
Once he's done he returns to Ignis, winding an arm around him from behind and resting his chin on the man's shoulder.]
[ As they walk together, Ignis points out the little things here and there, noticing how quiet Noctis is. He can tell that his mood is slowly improving though, which puts a smile back on his own face.
When they get back to the hotel and while Noctis is removing the contacts, he sets the case of Ebony down on the table that he'd brought back with them before starting the walk. He's starting the reheat process of the food when he feels an arm go around him followed by a chin on his shoulder.
Ah, that is a question indeed. He has many favorite moments, but one does stick out to him the most. The moment they met, but Noctis probably won't recall that one, he was too young. Ignis himself was six years old.
It's only reheating so he slides an arm back around Noctis' waist as he answers this one. ]
We've known each other since we were little kids, [ he begins as he stirs up the food with his free hand. ] your father is responsible for introducing us at a young age. I was six, you are a few years younger than me.
He asked me to stand beside you as a friend and as a brother. [ A lot has happened since then. If it weren't for that, they wouldn't have had the other memories that they've created together.
Speaking of, they're on the run, but Ignis hopes that he can do something special for Noct's birthday, it is coming up soon. ]
[His tone is thoughtful, not the same sort of quiet and sad that he used to carry years ago during their journey. In some ways, losing his memories means losing much of the tragedy he'd experienced that year, and now the words indicate only what he might have had once, rather than what he's lost and mourns. He tries to imagine his father's face, and the memory Ignis speaks of, but all he can see is an armored spirit wielding a familiar glaive.
Someday, maybe. Prompto must have a photo somewhere.]
I don't remember it... but if I was that young, maybe I never did. I can't believe I forgot that we'd been together that long.
[It's no wonder he feels so at ease in Ignis' presence. It must come so naturally to him, after this many years.]
[ Ignis leans his head back a bit to rest on the side of Noctis'. ]
Most people don't recall much from that age. I hardly blame you.
[ He takes a moment here while he keeps reheating the food, thinking about their past quietly. He is slipping easily back into the friend and brother roles though Noctis hasn't been back that long, but there's something more there too. The love that they share. ]
It has been quite the journey together and I don't regret a day.
[ None of it, if one little thing changes, they may not be together as they are now.
Ignis can't help but let a teasing smirk fall on his face though. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Indeed, we went there in our shared dream. [ Which is why he had picked this spot, both the meteor and Lestallum are well within their sights, they had visited both places in their shared dream. ]
I, uh, thought it would be special for us to have a beautiful view like this, since we seen it in our shared dream. [ He's feeling kind of shy ] You did call this a date. [ smiling softly now. ]
no subject
[That sudden influx of shyness is kind of sweet, actually. Noctis might have felt it himself if he carried all his memories with him, if he recalled all the years of feeling that weight of societal expectations on his back. There's something incredibly liberating about forgetting one's past. Less to lose, so why hide what he's feeling?
He tucks himself in closer to Ignis, leaning on his shoulder as he drinks in the view.]
You made the right call. This place is great.
[It almost makes him want to stay longer than a few days, though he knows they shouldn't. It's better to keep moving, safer that way. Still... he'd really like it here.]
no subject
They deserve this, not just from the past couple of days, but years lost, years that Noctis may or may not remember, that'll be up to where they go and what he recalls. Ignis is more than happy to keep creating happy memories like this.
He's quiet while they take in the view, just enjoying the company and blocking out his own worries for now.
The smell of their food does hit his nose after a while. ]
Perhaps we should eat before it gets too cold.
no subject
Yeah, I'm starving. We can enjoy the view while we eat.
no subject
I have something to show you.
[ He sets two photos down, the first one of them where they are right now in Lestallum, at the outlook actually, from fifteen years ago. The second one from five years ago, shortly after the attack on Ignis, they had been cuddling near the campfire, Prompto was sneaky about getting that one in. ]
I found them in the car after we got here, Prompto must have left them there for us to find.
[ Ignis finally returns the kiss onto Noctis' cheek before he pulls back, allowing Noct to study the photos as he moves his food bowl closer to himself, stirring it up a bit. ]
no subject
He recognizes the location, four men posing together with the sun shining down on them and the Disc gleaming brightly at their backs. Ignis, Gladio, Prompto. And... a face he knows by instinct alone, but can't remember. His fingers trail just below it, brows lifting.]
That's... me?
[Gods, but they all look so young. Smiling and astonishingly carefree. How could that possibly be the man he used to be?]
no subject
Indeed, it is you, from fifteen years ago.
[ He can't place when it was taken since they were in and out of Lestallum quite the bit. He still stirs his food quietly, taking in Noctis' reaction to it.
It makes sense really, if Noct only sees himself now that he can't recall what he looks like from those years ago. ]
no subject
We must've really loved it out here.
[They all look happy, smiling and carefree. Now and in the memories he's regained so far, a lot of the smiles in his direction have been laced with some kind of quiet, subtle pain. Which makes sense, admittedly. He'd been dead or about to die.]
...Do you think, after we've got everything sorted out, we could do it again? Just the four of us.
[He's a little afraid of going back, admittedly- regaining his memories and returning to Insomnia. What if people expect him to become king now that he's back, what if people - any people - expect him to be some kind of leader? He's fifteen years gone, he knows nothing about ruling. He has a feeling, looking at his younger self, that he for the most part barely did to begin with even when he remembered it all. No good king would look that happy to have lost his kingdom and forced to live incognito. That's not even getting into the fact that he's not exactly a normal person anymore.
Putting it off for another trip around the country- wouldn't that be nice. Running away from responsibilities perhaps, but... haven't they done enough already?]
no subject
That might be a little more difficult, [ he says, sadly, understanding Noctis wanting to relive those memories. ] Prompto's doing well for himself with his photos and Gladio trains people for the Crownsguard. [ Noct's already seen Prompto, but Gladio still needs to see Noctis for his own eyes. He's a little worried about Gladio not being as accepting as Prompto was to the idea of Noct being alive. ]
I wouldn't be opposed to the suggestion, but they got their own lives to live now.
[ Five years had gone by and each of them had settled into their roles nicely. Ignis had trained people to take over for him in case of an emergency came up, which it did. He's always been prepared for stuff like this. ]
I'm on this trip to help you and I want to be with you. [ Giving a small smile and reaching out to take one of Noctis' hands, lacing their fingers together. ] You wouldn't have to talk me into going on another one with you again.
no subject
Maybe he shouldn't try to get his memories back. Maybe he should just be forgotten by everyone, the way he's forgotten them. He could just be fooling himself, and Ignis is the only one who'll be happy to have him back.]
Right... of course. I was just thinking out loud, nevermind.
[He doesn't pull away from Ignis' hand, but he doesn't quite squeeze back, either. He slides the photos back towards Ignis and reaches for his fork to focus on his food instead.]
no subject
Ignis withdraws his hand and turns his body so that he can pull Noctis into a hug, cradling him against his chest. ]
You'd be proud of them, Noct. [ After he's gotten more memories that is, of the four. ]
Perhaps that wasn't the best photo to show you since our journey was never easy. [ Ardyn, Altissia, Noct's headaches, the crystal, among other things. Things that Ignis knows that will be hard on Noctis once he recalls those things.
He exhales a breath. ] They had to move on, Noct, they couldn't keep grieving. [ Yet, Ignis truly never stopped grieving himself. Death, by natural causes, was his way to see Noct again. At least he hoped that there was an afterlife but there's no need for that now.
He glances at the second photo of them at the final campsite for a second. ] You recall our final night together, I made some important promises to you. I kept them to you, to the best of my abilities. [ To live for himself, for them, to never forget Noctis, to not go out by suicidal means (which was far, far from his mind, no matter how much he missed Noctis) and one more that he's kept for himself too. ]
Admittedly, I buried myself in my work, I tried to move on myself, but no one could come close to you. No one could fill the gaping hole in my heart, I love you so much, Noctis.
[ A split second while he considers here, it's time to tell Noctis his own promise. ]
Every year, on the day we shared the final night together, I spent the night at that campsite to keep you in my memory, to recall that night and us. It was my way to honor you and what we shared together.
[ His own heart hurts too, as he thinks back on things. ]
The people, they honor you too, with a celebration of sorts. I approved of it when approached with the idea, to them, it was a celebration of the first sign of the dawn breaking for the first time in ten years. To me, it was a harsh reminder of what I lost that day.
[ He shuts his eyes and buries his face on top of Noctis' head, squeezing him tighter. Ignis says nothing more, comforting both himself and Noctis. They need it, date or not. ]
no subject
He doesn't really want to be honoured, or celebrated, or remembered the way the people do, either. Not for dying, or for losing everything. Even for bringing back the sun they're enjoying here and now. All he wants is the friends he'd had, feeling the love he'd carried for them more than he remembers it. But maybe after this long, they won't want him anymore. His existence represents a weight on their shoulders and a duty to protect that they've managed to leave behind.
It isn't so terrible, really. He's happy for them. He'll- try to be happy for them, though it might take some time. But maybe he won't try too hard to regain more memories of them or their journey until he gets used to the idea. His life has started anew- he doesn't want to begin it feeling regret for coming back like this. He's already wondering how much time he has and would rather not see it spoiled.
Well... he should be used to not getting what he wants, if the flickers of old memories ring true. At least he has Ignis, though. He's always had Ignis.
Quietly he clings back, tucked in against Ignis' body, and allows himself to be shielded this way for a bit. It's enough... yeah, it's enough to not be alone anymore. He's loved, and there's happiness to be found in that.]
I'm sorry... I'm here now.
no subject
He's always been the protector of the pair, though the roles have been reserved within the past few days, he easily slides back into this role. He just hopes that he doesn't have to pay him back, if he does get into trouble.
They're on a date, but if they need to talk about things for a bit, Ignis doesn't mind. ]
No need to apologize, [ he murmurs quietly ] you did what you had to do. [ It took Ignis a long time to accept it, not until their shared dream, he wasn't happy about it at the end of things though, even if it was the right thing to do. It hurt and stung like crazy, but Noctis is here now, alive and breathing. ]
... Are you alright?
no subject
[Noctis doesn't move, but a little bit of the tension bleeds out of him, enjoying the calm comfort of being held this way.]
I feel like... I've been here before. Not here here, but- this place in my life. Out on a journey, running from our enemies, never enough answers to know for certain where things are going to end. I don't remember it all, but I know this feeling. [His fingers curl in the fabric of Ignis' shirt.] I- I worry. About that part of it. Last time it didn't end so good.
[He's here for now, yes. But without all the answers, he's scared of future expectations. And that's assuming they live- they've had several close calls already.]
no subject
He takes a moment as he holds Noctis close to him, keeping him cradle against his chest. ]
We knew who our enemies were last time around, [ it had made hiding so much simpler and they could run if they were spotted. Always careful out on the road too, never leaving anything to chance. But now? They have no idea who to look out for and that makes it a little more terrifying in and out itself. ]
... we'll be okay. You know I won't let anything bad happen to you. [ Not again, or ever. He'll make sure of that. ]
no subject
[Ignis has been so protective of him, despite his life being the most at risk. And while he appreciates being loved that way, he doesn't want the other to take too many risks for his sake. Ignis not letting anything bad happen to him could mean unintentionally letting something bad happen to himself.]
I don't want anything to happen to you, either. You're... Iggy, you're literally all I have.
[If the others have moved on with their lives, he won't begrudge them that. He'd wanted it for them, he knows. He's sure of it. But he doesn't want to go back to the nothing he'd been before awakening to save Ignis from that first man who'd abducted him. Just a Messenger, empty and waiting for a mission. He doesn't want to lose this feeling, or the person who helped him remember it. It would break him, and Ignis deserves better.]
no subject
[ Ignis wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Noctis rescuing him from the shack near Hammerhead.
Outside of a few people that he can think of; Dave, Cindy, Cid... Noctis is all that he has too. He needs Gladio and Prompto to stay back home to keep an eye on things. If they became a four person group again, it'll be more protection, sure, but they might stand out more. That's what worries Ignis.
He hates that they have to watch their backs, but there's not much that they can do right now. Which is why they have to enjoy whatever quiet moments they can like this, together. ]
I did promise to stick closer to you, Noct. [ He gently nudges Noct to get him to look at him, letting him see Ignis' smile. ] I know we're both afraid for one anothers safety right now [ Ignis is in the most danger here, but he still can't help but worry about Noctis now. That's twice that Noctis has saved his life, the terrorists have got to be worried. ] but we're as safe as we can be, right here and now. Safe in each other's embrace like this.
no subject
No, what's safest is for them to catch their pursuers, and they can't do that in hiding. For now, though, they have this.]
I like it here, [he mumbles.] With you, where it's safe.
[He feels like, at least for tonight, they can relax and ease off the paranoia. Just for a little while.]
no subject
After a couple of minutes of quiet between the two, he gives Noct a squeeze in his arms before mumbling: ] Food's getting cold, did you want to take it on the walk?
[ He's not going to mind either way. But he hadn't expected Noctis' reaction to the photo. ]
Whatever you don't recall, I can tell you stories about it, if you like? [ If Noctis doesn't get all of his memories back, then Ignis can pick up the pieces for him. Help him slide in the puzzle pieces of himself. ]
no subject
[He can eat fast, if they want to walk. Or they can sit here, close and enjoying one another's company. Until told otherwise, he... doesn't really have a life outside of Ignis right now. He's not sure if he ever will again. In truth he's afraid to look ahead that far.
The past is frightening for different reasons, but not as scary as the true unknown, so after a moment he nods.]
I like the sound of that. Hearing stories. Maybe it'll remind me of something.
no subject
I merely wish to stay by your side too.
[ Ignis knows the story that he'll want to tell as well, it can begin when they get back to the hotel tonight. For now, he draws back a bit, and pokes at the food with his finger a bit. It had gotten a bit on the cold side, but no matter. He is a cook after all and can very easily warm it up for the both of them. ]
Let's take this to go and enjoy ourselves on a walk. [ He rises up from his seat, carefully untangling himself from Noctis and reaches for his hand to pull him up. Ignis uses his free hand to grab at his dish, bagging it.
It's not quite how the first part of this date would play out in his mind, but he doesn't care, just as long as he has Noctis by his side. ]
no subject
Afterwards it's a short distance back to the hotel, where the food is set to re-heat, and Noctis disassembles the mask he'd acquired for being out in public: contacts out, gloves and jacket off. For better or worse, he is himself again, and at least with Ignis there's no need to hide. The inhuman changes that were the cost of his revival are accepted without hesitation, and he's grateful for that.
Once he's done he returns to Ignis, winding an arm around him from behind and resting his chin on the man's shoulder.]
What's... your favourite memory? Of us.
no subject
When they get back to the hotel and while Noctis is removing the contacts, he sets the case of Ebony down on the table that he'd brought back with them before starting the walk. He's starting the reheat process of the food when he feels an arm go around him followed by a chin on his shoulder.
Ah, that is a question indeed. He has many favorite moments, but one does stick out to him the most. The moment they met, but Noctis probably won't recall that one, he was too young. Ignis himself was six years old.
It's only reheating so he slides an arm back around Noctis' waist as he answers this one. ]
We've known each other since we were little kids, [ he begins as he stirs up the food with his free hand. ] your father is responsible for introducing us at a young age. I was six, you are a few years younger than me.
He asked me to stand beside you as a friend and as a brother. [ A lot has happened since then. If it weren't for that, they wouldn't have had the other memories that they've created together.
Speaking of, they're on the run, but Ignis hopes that he can do something special for Noct's birthday, it is coming up soon. ]
no subject
[His tone is thoughtful, not the same sort of quiet and sad that he used to carry years ago during their journey. In some ways, losing his memories means losing much of the tragedy he'd experienced that year, and now the words indicate only what he might have had once, rather than what he's lost and mourns. He tries to imagine his father's face, and the memory Ignis speaks of, but all he can see is an armored spirit wielding a familiar glaive.
Someday, maybe. Prompto must have a photo somewhere.]
I don't remember it... but if I was that young, maybe I never did. I can't believe I forgot that we'd been together that long.
[It's no wonder he feels so at ease in Ignis' presence. It must come so naturally to him, after this many years.]
no subject
Most people don't recall much from that age. I hardly blame you.
[ He takes a moment here while he keeps reheating the food, thinking about their past quietly. He is slipping easily back into the friend and brother roles though Noctis hasn't been back that long, but there's something more there too. The love that they share. ]
It has been quite the journey together and I don't regret a day.
[ None of it, if one little thing changes, they may not be together as they are now.
Ignis can't help but let a teasing smirk fall on his face though. ]
You were quite the brat at times too.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)